


Seizing Bullets

by NorthernSong



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8081593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernSong/pseuds/NorthernSong
Summary: Shot by Titus and with her people trapped by the blockade, Clarke must find a way to unite her people behind Lexa's rule.





	1. Seizing Bullets

The crisp clank of Clarke's heels reverberated slightly through the corridors. She tightened her watch strap as she made her way to her room. The prospect of leaving had filled her with dread; it was a decision wrenched from her by Octavia's persistence. Going back could be calamitous. Pike was hardly likely to welcome them back with open arms but if she did nothing and her friend and her mother died...

Clarke swallowed back her resentment. She had never wanted to go back to Arkadia but she was sure she could not wear anymore grief. She would come back here. She would finish this and come back to Polis and, finally, to Lexa.

She paused at her door for a split second before taking a steadying breath and stepping inside.

'Murphy?'

Murphy's eyes widened in horror upon seeing her. He struggled against where he was tied and she stared at him shock. His face was battered and bloody. Instinct made her half step towards him but at the sight of Titus she paused and her eyes flickered to the gun in his hands.

'Titus-' She began, shakily, 'Titus, I'm leaving right now, with Octavia.'

Clarke knew in her heart it was pointless; Titus had wanted this all along and as Titus pulled the trigger, she was already throwing herself out of the way of the bullet. He fired again and again, mercilessly as the shots rattled through the room and Clarke half ran and half crawled to get away. She grabbed the nearest chair and threw it at him but the strength it took slowed her and Titus fired once more.

Clarke gasped as she hit the hard floor, clutching her shoulder. The door slammed open, banging off the wall next to Clarke. Clarke clutched at her shoulder, trying to crawl and there was a scream of shouts. The pain tore through Clarke's arm and she gave a weak cry, falling back. Sweat clung to her body and she struggled to open her eyes, see a figure in black standing over Titus.

'Stop!' Clarke panted weakly. 'I need him!'

Lexa turned to Clarke in alarm. Clarke struggled to pull herself up and she leaned heavily against the wall as she stared down at a bloody Titus that was at Lexa's feet. Lexa looked utterly torn between finishing Titus off or running to her but Clarke gave the tiniest shake of her head.

'Clarke,' Lexa said, her voice wavering for perhaps the first time that Clarke had known her, 'he tried-'

'I know.' Clarke breathed.

She shut her eyes for a moment as the pain pounded through her shoulder. Blood tickled at her arm as it continued to drip down, soaking her shit. She swallowed back the nausea, not sure if it was rising at the thought of her own blood being spilled in such quantities or as a consequence of a dropping blood pressure.

'I'm calling for a healer.' Lexa said quickly, and Clarke's eyes snapped open.

'No.' Clarke stated firmly. 'Free Murphy.'

Lexa halted for the briefest second and Clarke groaned, dragging herself over to Murphy and quickly releasing him. Lexa rushed over to Clarke as she stepped away but Clarke pulled herself back. Lexa didn't need to see the extent of the wound and her concern would only hinder matters. Lexa gave her space but her arms were slightly outstretched as though ready to catch Clarke, should she need it and Clarke reached out with her left hand and took Lexa's in her own for a second and gave her a reassuring squeeze before she dropped it again and clutched at her shoulder.

Murphy began to pull himself free and Clarke wondered if he was in as much pain as she was. He fell slightly onto his feet but stood up quickly, looking at Clarke with concern and gratitude.

'You need a healer.' Lexa urged, her voice starting to regain its authority.

Titus tried to stand up but Lexa was across the room in two strong strides and she swiftly kicked the legs out from under him. He shouted in agony.

'Heda, please. I was trying to protect you.' He begged desperately, his spit spraying across the floor.

'You always mean well.' Lexa spat.

'She'll get you killed.' Titus panted.

He tried to sit up once more but Lexa raised her leg as if to strike and he held his hands up and looked down upon the floor.

'It's my job to protect you.'

'It is your job to serve me.' Lexa replied coldly, all hint of any trust or affection for her old mentor gone.

'He did betray his leader...' Murphy suggested, and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'I told you I need him.'

'You need a healer.' Lexa repeated vehemently.

'I am a healer.' Clarke reminded her. 'Your people can't help me.'

'Clarke-'

'I know what I'm doing.' Clarke retorted, her voice struggling as her body ached in pain.

'I can help you get the bullet out.' Murphy offered.

Clarke smiled at him softly, but with a trace of regret. Murphy had been so helpful during the outbreak of the virus. In reality, he had little choice as he had needed the drop ship for shelter and to carry out his revenge but Clarke would not forget that Murphy's generosity had extended itself to staying with Finn in TonDC and then helping them try to protect Finn from punishment. She was also glad to have one of the hundred with her who would not want to drag her back to her duty, regardless of whatever had to happen.

'It needs to stay in.' Clarke replied and she couldn't help but keep the anger out of her voice.

She should have known any path that would come her way would be painful. She had been lucky; she could have been killed and she was so close to the door that Lexa could have been shot. She couldn't manage the pain in comparison to either of those scenarios but she still wished she could let Lexa deliver justice as she had to Nia.

'Why?' Lexa asked quickly, stepping towards her.

'Because,' Clarke smiled in triumph, her eyes fixed upon Titus and his broken expression, 'Titus has given me the way to finish Pike.'


	2. Planning

Clarke winced as she moved over to the bed and she collapsed ungracefully upon it. She groaned as her shoulder made contact with it and she could feel the bullet embedded within her. She pulled herself up slowly so that she was sitting and she bitterly wished she could have let Lexa kill Titus.

Lexa walked slowly over to the bed and sat next to Clarke. She paid no attention to Titus who was sitting on the floor and looking utterly defeated. Lexa seemed to sense that he would not fight whatever fate awaited him. Clarke could have laughed at such display of loyalty if she wasn't in so much pain. Murphy, however, didn't tear his eyes away from Titus, as if waiting for him to try to launch himself out of the room. 

With her left hand Clarke grabbed at the hole in her shirt over her right shoulder, left by the bullet wound, and she began to pull so that it gave a hiss as it ripped. Lexa watched in concern as Clarke grimaced as she observed the wound for a moment but she turned back to Lexa and met her tender gaze.

'I can leave it in for now.' Clarke said, her breathing still slightly ragged. 

The bleeding had at least begun to slow. Clarke pressed the piece of her shirt to the wound gently and Lexa stood up.

'You need a healer.' Lexa stated but Clarke shook her head. 'At least some bandages!'

'No.' Clarke muttered, exhausted.

It was against every one of her instincts. She wanted to cry out, to have Lexa call for healers or at least be able to instruct Murphy how to take the bullet out. She even fought the urge to just tear into her shoulder with her left hand and pull it out herself. 

'Why?' Lexa asked, baffled and Clarke couldn't help but admire the respect she was shown even now.

Lexa's first reaction would always be to want to run to get healers, and then to kill Titus for ever posing a threat to her life, and yet Lexa had done everything Clarke had asked and no matter how frightened she must be of losing someone else close to her. Too many took Lexa's stoic reactions on face value and didn't appreciate the strong will power and years of training (at the hands of Titus) that allowed her to have such composure even now. Clarke felt a surge of pride that she could read Lexa so well and that Lexa was doing everything she could to help her, even when it seemed against all reason. Clarke was slowly learning to trust Lexa again but Lexa had never once doubted her.

'Can you bring Octavia up? She'll be waiting at the entrance to the tower.' Clarke asked Lexa finally; she wanted to put off revealing her plan for as long as she could but they were short on time.

Lexa's jaw clenched slightly that her question had been avoided but within a second, she turned on her heel and Lexa strode across the room and wrenched the door open and disappeared into the corridor. Clarke knew it would take her less than a minute to summon a guard from one of the lower floors. It had been strange they were absent at all but Titus must have sent them away. Clarke could have cursed herself for not realising something was wrong when there were no guards waiting outside of Lexa's room earlier.

Murphy shuffled awkwardly and Clarke glanced over to him. He looked worse than Clarke felt.

'I'm sorry he hurt you.' Clarke offered; she couldn't help the guilt as she had been living in Polis and in truth, she felt a greater connection here now than she did with her own people. 

'I'm sorry he hurt you too.' Murphy replied softly and he glanced back in disgust to Titus, who was sitting with his legs sprayed out and a single tear was rolling down his face. 'He could again.'

It seemed strange to think that mere minutes before this had been a man who could have killed her, Murphy or even Lexa with his paranoia. She'd never seen a more defeated looking person, not even Finn when he had been tied to that post.

'Lexa won't let him.' Clarke dismissed quietly.

'She couldn't stop him before.'

Clarke opened her mouth to argue but before she could, Lexa strode back into the room. She immediately occupied the space net to Clarke and stared at the wound and Clarke saw her swallow back tears.

'I'm okay.'

Lexa blinked slowly and gave a slight nod but Clarke was sure that Lexa was believing it out of pure hope and faith more than reason. Clarke could feel her hair clinging to her face and she knew how drained she must look. It would not be a comforting sight. 

The sound of thunderous steps echoed up the corridor and they drew closer. Clarke closed her eyes briefly, hoping this would be easy. She didn't have it in her for another fight, not what with what lay ahead.

'What happened?' Octavia demanded angrily as soon as she lay eyes on Clarke and she rushed over to the bed, throwing Lexa a look of contempt.

Indra stayed by the door as though unsure of who to attack first as she looked around at them all.  
'Titus tried to kill Clarke.' Lexa informed them and Octavia stepped away from Clarke as she brushed her off.

'Then why is he still alive, Heda?' Indra asked.

'I need him.' Clarke repeated. 

'Wanheda's got a plan.' Murphy smiled.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Octavia hissed, rounding on Murphy.

'Titus tortured him too.' Clarke replied wearily; she didn't want to have to go over the same old facts when the pain in her arm was telling her they were running out of time. 'We don't have time to go through this.'

'We're supposed to be going back, Clarke. They're counting on us.'

Clarke resented the anger behind Octavia's words and her voice was more icy than she intended when she responded.

'We are.'

'What?' Lexa challenged immediately. 'You cannot leave.'

'I have to.' Clarke told her regretfully and she looked directly at Lexa finally and silently pleaded with her to make her case but she know Lexa would; she always did. 'They still need us.'

'You're not exactly in any state.' Murphy replied.

'That's why I have to.' Clarke said. 'Our plan to go back...it was stupid. Pike's tried to arrest us once. There was no way we'd be welcomed back and be able to convince everyone to trust in Lexa.  Lexa was right weeks ago...he'd arrest us on sight.'

'You said-' Octavia said in a low and deadly voice but Clarke cut her off.

'I still would have gone, but now we are going with a plan.'

'To die?' Indra asked incredulously. 

'I'm not going to die.' Clarke denied. 'Pike is.' 

'Clarke-' Lexa started but Clarke interrupted again; she had to get through this now she had started. 

'Titus has given us an opportunity to seize.' Clarke retorted wryly. 'When we go back, Murphy will have been tortured by Titus and Titus will have tried to kill me. Octavia was here trying to help ease tensions but she saw what the grounders were and she rescued us both.'

'What the grounders are?' Indra demanded angrily. 

'Don't you see! They want to believe Lexa is a murderer and that your people are heartless!' Clarke half shouted, her patience failing. 'They want to hear this story so they'll believe it! They'll let us in, thinking we're sorry and one of them. They won't suspect us and then we can get to Pike.'

'How can you kill him when you are half dead?' Indra snarled.

'The bullet has to stay in. If I try to heal myself then it'll look too suspicious. I have to look as though I'm about to die or they'll never fall for it.' Clarke answered. 'My mother or Jackson will fix me. They are loyal to me. They'll help when I tell them the plan. They never wanted Pike.'

'Clarke, this is-'

'Genius.' Murphy breathed, now being the one to interrupt Lexa and she scowled at him angrily.

Clarke looked up at Murphy in hope.

'You'll come?'

Murphy shrugged.

'Not had the best time here, Clarke, in case you hadn't noticed.'

'It'll be dangerous...if they catch you-'

'I thought you were trying to talk me into this?' Murphy asked, eyebrows raised.

'I am.' Clarke said. 'But-'

'Let him help someone else for a change.' Octavia interjected quickly and Murphy just smirked. 

Lexa, however, stood up quickly. She paced slightly around the room before turning to Clarke. Clarke knew that look; she was utterly torn. Lexa's eyes moved slowly down to Titus as though trying to work out a problem. Arkadia wouldn't have any way of knowing that Titus was dead from here if Lexa had fulfilled her revenge.

'I'm supposed to wait here to see if you can carry out this mission?' Lexa asked slowly, her eyes slowing moving to Clarke's and Clarke felt herself shudder under that intense gaze.

'No,' Clarke answered honestly, 'it's time for you to raise your army against Arkadia.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for any comments and kudos :)


	3. The Gamble

Clarke jerked as her head lolled against her shoulder and she felt hands grip her waist. She blinked rapidly until the trees swam into view.

'We can get off soon.' Octavia said, from behind her.

They carried on with the horse for another few minutes, Murphy trailing slightly behind them on a horse of his own before they drew to a halt and clambered off them, although Clarke needed Octavia's help to keep steady. Clarke groaned and grabbed her shoulder as soon as she landed and Octavia and Murphy shot looks of concern.

'Why don't we just ride in with the horses?' Octavia asked, staring at Clarke nervously.

Clarke ignored Octavia's look of concern. She was supposed to look awful and judging by how pale Octavia was every time she even glanced in her direction she was sure she was well on her way to achieving that goal. She fought shivers and wrapped her arm uselessly around herself.

It was nearly sunset but Clarke suspected her reaction was more to do with blood loss. It may have been part of the plan but it was of little comfort to her. They'd made rapid time on the horses and Murphy had struggled to keep up with the relentless pace Octavia had kept. They'd made it in half the time the transportation would have taken had Titus not shot her, and although it should have been a surprise that pleased Clarke, her dread was growing by the minute. Soon they would emerge from the trees and she would be confronted once more with her people and Pike. The new chancellor had proved to be anything but easy to predict.

'The story is going to be wild enough without saying you somehow saved us both by pure chance and then you had time to carry us both to the horses so we could ride out of there.' Clarke sighed; she longed to sit down and shut her eyes just for a moment.

'So we just walk fast?' Octavia questioned.

'We'll say I was shot yesterday.'

Octavia stared at her, looking incredulous.

'Makes sense.' Murphy agreed. 'Only Clarke's mom or Jackson will know by the wound and it's not like anyone in Arkadia is on speaking terms with any of the grounders.'

'Some grounders are still in there.' Octavia retorted coldly, looking across the forest to where Clarke knew Arkadia was lying in wait for them.

'And they don't know what happened in Polis either.' Murphy reminded her.

Octavia gave him a cold look but Murphy seemed entirely unconcerned. Clarke was surprised he had even come this far. Octavia turned to stare once more at the trees that shielded Arkadia from view.

'He'll be okay.' Clarke said as hopefully as she could when Octavia remained silent.

'He might already be dead.' Octavia replied harshly.

Clarke watched the back of Octavia's head and she was sure that the younger woman was fighting back tears.

'He might.' Clarke conceded after a moment. 'Or he might still be there waiting for you. This is our chance to save him.'

'If the plan works.' Octavia muttered.

'It will.' Clarke replied earnestly.

'We're gambling everything on a bluff?' Murphy asked, sceptical.

Octavia turned to look at Murphy and Clarke shook her head briefly at the doubt on both of their faces. She bit back an annoyed retort. They had so few options. They never really ever had options- or at least good ones. The choice was always between risking one life or risking another and it was a choice that everyone always looked to her to make. She had to stop their doubts now or they'd have nothing.

'Do you think they'll believe that Lexa's people just let us walk out of there?' Clarke asked desperately.

'And Lexa.' Octavia reminded her pointedly but Clarke brushed it off.

'I've been living with them, learning their secrets. If it was to be my assassination then it won't make sense if I escape and they do nothing.' Clarke argued.

'So we use Lexa's army to create the illusion of a looming war and put pressure on Arkadia.' Murphy muttered.

'The more panic in Arkadia, the less they can plan.' Clarke reasoned.

She hoped she was right; whenever they had been faced in difficult situations they'd simply acted rashly and killed everyone. Murphy was right: they were gambling everything.

'And you trust Lexa?' Octavia asked, sneering.

'Yes.' Clarke retorted, unwavering.

'And what if Pike doesn't surrender? What if you die? Do you think Lexa won't call on her army to kill our people?' Octavia challenged.

'She won't.' Clarke denied, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

She made to walk by Octavia, she wanted to get moving, but Octavia grabbed her good arm and Clarke halted.

'We are not her people.' Octavia said quietly.

'I am.' Clarke replied, looking at Octavia. 'She is our commander and I trust her.'

'This could get us all killed, Clarke.'

'It won't,' Clarke said, tugging her arm out of Octavia's grasp, 'and it's the only chance of saving Lincoln.'

Octavia stared at her with doubt for a long moment before she relaxed ever so slightly and dipped her head in what Clarke assumed was a reluctant nod.  

'As long as it doesn't get me killed.' Murphy shrugged, walking between them both and leading the way to Arkadia.

They followed him silently. The light began to grow stronger as the trees thinned and Arkadia came into view. Octavia didn't ask before she slipped an arm under Clarke's knee and began to carry her. Clarke's body ached in relief at being off her feet and she shut her eyes for a moment, longing for a bed. Murphy began to slow and his movements became far more exaggerated as he dragged his feet along the forest floor.

Their footfalls sounded crisp against the twigs and leaves of the forest floor. Clarke's mind flashed to a time when they knew nothing of Polis or politics nor had the walls of Arkadia to hide behind. The first day had been so full of hope and trepidation that they could explore and build a life on the ground and all they had achieved was war after war. They had to avoid it this time. Pike's guns threatened them all. A few men had easily slaughtered the warriors from Trikru and Clarke didn't dare think of what that might mean should open warfare be declared.

Octavia stepped out of the forest with Clarke and Murphy followed a few paces behind. Screams and shouts pierced the air and there was a loud bang that startled Clarke back into painful focus as a bullet splattered the ground, mere inches from Octavia's feet. Octavia sunk slowly to her knees but she still held Clarke just as steady. Murphy lowered himself too with his arms raised to signal peace.

'It is Octavia kom Skaikru!' Octavia shouted. 'I have Wanheda and John Murphy! And we need your help!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Bi Visibility Day :) Thank you all for reading and any comments and kudos!


	4. Old Friends Turn Foes

Lexa stared ahead as her horse carried on down the path to Arkadia, with Indra and Titus on horses either side of her and an army trailing behind them. She kept her face impassive as she felt Indra and Titus looking at her every few seconds.

They would be at Arkadia by dawn, with the army ready to announce that it wanted blood. They had to give Clarke time to get treatment; she couldn't go after Pike in the state she was in. Lexa gripped the reins more tightly as she thought of Clarke. She had been so weak at Polis. The risk to her health on this excursion alone would be severe and Clarke was going back to a place that saw her as an ally to the enemy. Perhaps this was as reckless and foolish as when Clarke had tried to break her way into the Mountain with no army to support her...

'Heda-'

'Be quiet, Titus.' Lexa demanded harshly, without looking to him.

'We should make camp, Heda.' Indra said. 'Before the sun sets. We can leave before dawn and get there in time.'

'The first sight that will greet Skaikru will be our armies, as it should have been weeks ago. You know this, Heda.' Titus urged.

Lexa slowly turned her head towards him, her face murderous.

'We will achieve peace.' Lexa said, little more than a menacing whisper. 'Once Arkadia is secured from Chancellor Pike, your fight will be over.'

Lexa turned to Indra and gave a slight nod. Indra pulled her horse round as they all halted and gave a shout that they should set up camp. Within seconds, everyone was off their horses and Lexa's tent was being erected at the side of the road where guards stood protectively.

Lexa remained on her horse as everyone set about their tasks. She felt the radio that Octavia had left her, pressing under the clothes. Octavia had managed to provide a very hasty lesson of how to use it but until Octavia, Clarke and Murphy were inside Arkadia and had stolen a radio for themselves and could send a message then there would be no communication. They were isolated from one another and yet required to work in perfect unison. Lexa did not take for granted the trust that Clarke was placing in her.

It was another half an hour before fires were roaring along the road and the tent had been fully set up, complete with Lexa's bed and throne. She dismounted her horse in silence and entered her tent, Indra and Titus following behind. Lexa turned back and glanced to the guards and they understood the silent command to leave them.

Lexa waited a moment before speaking. Indra still looked as though she was still struggling from her own bullet wound and Lexa tried not to think of the pain Clarke was in, although it was a helpless task. Indra would want vengeance against Pike and she was already wearing a look of hunger but Bellamy had already recognised that she could be used as a tool for manipulation. Titus, however, represented all that Skaikru feared. He wanted no alliance and had been the one to hurt Clarke and John Murphy. He would have to stay by her side, as unusual as it was for the Flame Keeper to go to war, but Lexa also did not want him out of her sight. There would be no battle, this was to be an illusion and so there was no risk of Titus entering Arkadia anyway and causing yet more havoc and he would be dealt justice just as soon as this was over.

She exhaled in annoyance as she thought of the policy of jus no drein jus no daun. As long as Titus lived, he would be a threat and disposing of the Flame Keeper was no conventional task. As long as he lived, even in prison and in Polis, he may be a rallying point for anyone who was opposed to Skaikru's position within the Coalition. Lexa forced herself to dismiss this concern; she still had time to come up with a solution for these far off problems and she had to focus on tomorrow.

'Indra,' Lexa spoke with complete control as she finally broke the silence, 'you will not be present on the front line.'

'Heda-' Indra started to protest but Lexa held up her hand for silence.

'I do not wish for Skaikru to see any potential allies facing them. If this illusion is to work then the picture offered to them must be carefully constructed.' Lexa replied. 'We are not going to war and therefore you should not feel aggrieved at being left out.'

'Yes, Heda.' Indra nodded, but Lexa knew that she had her doubts. 'What of Titus?'

'He will stay by my side.' Lexa responded instantly and without looking at Titus. 'It will provide the impression of unity against Skaikru and I wish for his activities to be strictly monitored.'

'What if the plan fails?' Indra asked.

'Then there will be a new one.' Lexa dismissed.

If Clarke was discovered as a spy and as an attempt assassin, Lexa didn't know how she would even be aware but this was Clarke. Clarke who never gave in and always had a plan, and Clarke still had allies around her. She may not know of Clarke's friends that well, but Clarke did and she had to trust that.

'Clarke will be with her people now.' Titus spoke up, his voice wavering. 'It is where she belongs. We cannot trust-'

'I do trust her.' Lexa responded, her voice made of steel.

Titus could not see beyond Clarke's Skaikru roots but regardless of Clarke's loyalties she would never agree to follow someone such as Pike. Clarke's reactions were always to protect everyone, to always keep them safe and Pike was a man who brought war, death and suffering to anyone who he thought was beneath him. Even without their own personal relationship, Clarke would never ally herself to Pike.

Titus opened his mouth to argue but Indra rounded on him angrily.

'Have you not done enough? Have you not disrespected our commander enough?' Indra challenged.

'I did-'

'What you wanted.' Indra hissed. 'That is not what it means to serve Heda. You have disgraced the Commander of the Blood and you have committed treason against our leader, against the very best of Trikru.'

'Indra,' Lexa started softly and Indra looked at her in surprise, 'you need not worry. Titus has chosen his fate. He will disgrace us no more.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you for all your kudos and reviews! I promise there will be some drama kicking off soon :)


	5. Home Again

Clarke groaned as she blinked awake under the glare of the fluorescent lights in medical. Her body was exhausted and her head felt as though it had a war waging within it but the pain in her shoulder had greatly reduced.

She pulled herself up from the bed but her hand jerked against cool metal and she looked down in horror to find her good hand cuffed to the bed.

'It's just temporary.' Her mother reassured as both Jackson and her approached Clarke.

Clarke looked around instantly for any trace of Octavia or Murphy but there was none.

'Where are they?' Clarke asked quickly.

'Pike has them.' Abby answered and Clarke tried to rise from the bed but she could only kneel.

She tugged at her cuffed wrist, not caring as the metal cut her skin, until her mother grabbed her hand and forced Clarke to meet her gaze.

'They are okay. Murphy wasn't in any immediate danger so Pike went to interview-'

'Interrogate.' Clarke corrected and Abby swallowed, giving a short nod and she stepped back from Clarke.

Abby's eyes darted to the door of medical and Clarke followed her movement. She had to stop the bitter laugh from forming at seeing one of the guards there. He was relatively young, not much older than Clarke and with short brown hair. He also looked as though he would rather be anywhere else.

'Something happened, Clarke.' Abby said anxiously, drawing Clarke's attention back.

'Kane tried - Kane, Lincoln and Sinclair- they tried to stop Pike but -'

'What will Pike do?' Clarke asked, her voice hollow.

'The death penalty.' Jackson said when Abby's voice failed her.

Clarke sunk back into her bed. She couldn't look at her mother and see the worry there for Kane. She fought tears that her mother would be put through this again. She knew how close they had grown. She'd seen it, even when they bickered on the Ark Clarke had thought that maybe there had been something there or could have been if she didn't have her father...

'When?' Clarke asked, her voice thick.

'Dawn.' Abby answered, her voice cracking. 'I can't let him-'

Clarke's eyes flickered to the guard in warning but her mother ignored her.

'And Octavia won't let Lincoln-'

'Mom!' Clarke warned, sitting up as the guard glanced down the hall outside medical, before turning back to face them and walking over.

'We can't let this happen.' Abby pleaded as the guard's steps drew closer.

The guard paused at the side of Clarke's bed and Clarke's eyes were wide. She waited for Abby to react. The only explanation was that she wanted the guard to leave his post at the door but the guard reached into one of his pockets and pulled out the key.

'What the...?' Clarke asked in amazement, rubbing her wrist as the guard stepped back.

'It's Miller's boyfriend.' Abby responded.

'Bryan.' He said, with a small smile. 'We need to be quick. Now she's awake, Pike will want to talk to her.'

'We'll go for Kane and the others first and then Octavia and Murphy, then we can get the hell out of here.'

Clarke pulled herself off the bed. She grimaced slightly as her left arm was sluggish and still weak. She stared at her mother who was shaking as she stood slightly, with a look that conveyed how desperately she wanted to flee from Arkadia. Bryan brushed by her as he turned to go to the door and Clarke grabbed his shock stick and placed it against Abby's neck. Abby spluttered and jerked for a moment before Clarke released it and she crumpled to the floor.

'What the hell are you doing?' Bryan demanded as Clarke sunk to the floor and brushed Abby's hair out of her face.

'I'm sorry, Mom,' Clarke murmured, 'but I can't leave without Pike's death and I won't let you get caught up in this.'

'Clarke-'

'Stay with her, Jackson.' Clarke urged, cutting him across. 'She needs you and so does Arkadia. If this goes to hell they can't lose the only trained medics.'

'What are we doing then?' Bryan demanded, his face ashen.

'Get me to Pike.' Clarke demanded. 'I'll take care of the rest.'

Bryan looked at Clarke as though she had taken leave for all of her senses but he did gave a jerk of his head which Clarke assumed was an agreement to the plan. She took the handcuffs back off him and slipped her wrists in them but she did not tighten them. She needed to have use of her hands and she gave Bryan a pointed look, and he took her arm in his hand and led her out the door, but he stepped awkwardly in front of her to shield the loose handcuffs.

'How long until dawn?' Clarke asked as they stepped out of the door to medical.

She didn't know how long she had been out while her mother had fixed her wound and got her blood pressure back up. They needed the pressure that Lexa's army would provide but Clarke still needed to control the situation in case Pike started ordering firing squads at the gates. Lexa's army wouldn't stand a chance if Pike ordered his soldiers to rain down bullets upon them.

'Two hours.' Bryan muttered.

'Then get me an assault rifle on the way to Pike.' Clarke muttered.

'This is too obvious.' Bryan whispered urgently.

'Maybe.' Clarke agreed; thinking back to when she had to live in the shadows of Trikru as Wanheda, 'but hiding in plain sight can be the best trick of all.'

Bryan shook his head and Clarke felt him urge her forward down the corridor. Clarke threw medical one last glance and prayed Jackson would look after her mother. Jackson nodded as Clarke dipped out of sight and went about her mission to vanquish the Chancellor.

'What do you want me to do?' Jackson asked ALIE serenely.

ALIE looked down at Abby's unconscious form that Jackson had placed on the bed before turning to Jackson.

'Nothing.' ALIE replied. 'Lexa has proven her love to Clarke so whether by war or peace Clarke's presence here will lead the Commander straight to us.'

'And what of Abby?'

'If we have Lexa we won't need her.' ALIE replied. 'Take care of her so it does not disrupt Clarke; we must let her plans play out.'

'If there is war...' Jackson started, '...then people will be hurt.'

'Precisely, there is a high probability that we will find new recruits within the next few hours increasing our chances of securing the Flame.' ALIE responded easily. 'If I had known of Clarke and Lexa's relationship earlier then I would have gone after Clarke first.'

'Thank, Abby.' Jackson smiled.

'Yes, Abby and Bellamy's complaints of Clarke staying in Polis have provided the information we needed and had overlooked until now.' ALIE smiled. 'Clarke is a lonely figure, trapped between two sides that long for war. They will bring both pain and the Flame to us- and Arkadia will fall.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated for a while whether to include the scifi element of ALIE in. It wasn't something I was ever thrilled about (mostly because it wasn't done that well as I am a big scifi fan) but I decided to work with what season 3 provided...to an extent :P The ALIE thing will not be like what was on the show, it will go its own path. I stayed very true to it for the season 3 rewrite for Grasping Water (and then made it up as I went along for the next three seasons) but I'm going to go down a new route with it for SB. The basics of it will remain in place but I'll reveal more on my own twists on it in time. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all comments and kudos!


	6. Facing Justice

 'So this went well.' Murphy muttered, but he soon hissed out in pain as his wrists were bound and he was tied between the posts.

Octavia was placed on his side and she was next to Lincoln, who was already tied up along with Kane and Sinclair.

Arkadia was still mostly engulfed by darkness but the glare of the spotlight from the guard tower focused upon them made Murphy squint. The air was cool around them and Murphy shivered against his restraints. He should have known that the Arkers would judge him and call him a liar and a criminal and they at least had a point, but he had to admit that he never thought he would be back here after surviving the sky box. Yet Pike had brought them out here in the middle of the night, as much as this was out in the open perhaps Pike was keen not to draw attention and if Clarke wasn't able to come up with a plan then that was bad news for all of them; Pike would execute them all with no crowd and no chance of opposition.

'I've helped you by rescuing Clarke and Murphy.' Octavia spat, struggling against the red bands that were holding her wrists.

'You can leave traitors to die next time.' Pike advised. 'You betrayed me. Whatever is going on here is not in my interests. I am not a fool, Octavia. I will spare you because of Bellamy but you will still await my decision.'

'Where is her dear brother?' Murphy drawled.

Pike just shook his head in Murphy's direction. Of course, Bellamy wouldn't be allowed here or Bellamy trusted Pike enough not to just kill Octavia. Murphy didn't know which option would work best for them.

'You can't just kill everyone you don't like!' Kane shouted.

'Why not?' Murphy smirked. 'He's a true Chancellor after all.'

Pike wiped his face and smirked before stepping forward until his face was mere inches from his own.

'You're right; I can, Mr Murphy,' Pike whispered, 'when it is for the good of Arkadia then I absolutely can.'

* * *

 

Bryan opened the door and both he and Clarke ducked inside. Clarke grabbed the nearest assault rifle from where it was held in the armoury and quickly loaded it.

'You're just going to walk about like that?' Bryan asked, eyeing the huge gun in her arms.

'Yes,' Clarke replied quickly, 'and I need an earpiece radio. I know Raven and Wick worked on them before we left to take Mount Weather.'

'Yeah, Raven finished them when you were gone.' Bryan said, confused, 'I've got one.'

He pulled out what looked like a small black bead and pulled out his radio from his belt and handed both to Clarke.

Clarke fiddled placed the bead in her ear and pulled her hair to shield it from view.

'If you sync up that radio-'

'I know how it works.' Clarke told him, but not unkindly. 'Bryan, you should go. You don't have to be a part of this.'

'I have to.' Bryan said desperately. 'Pike saved me when we landed but it's not right what he's doing. I spied on Nate.'

Clarke softened slightly and she put her gun on one of the metal shelves behind her and grasped Bryan's hand.

'That's why you need to leave me to do what needs to be done. Miller needs you.' Clarke urged. 'If you want to help, be prepared. Get Miller, Harper and whoever else ready so that if they need to flee Arkadia they can.'

Bryan nodded and Clarke slowly released his hand. Clarke handed the radio back to him and he slipped it in his belt, without even checking the channels or that it had been silenced.

'Good luck, Clarke.' He offered.

'You too,' Clarke replied, 'and thank you.'

Bryan offered her a small smile before he slipped back out of the armoury's door.

'Lexa, I'm here.' Clarke said quietly to the empty room.

'Are you alone?' Lexa's voice instantly filled Clarke's ear and Clarke couldn't help the wide smile that crossed over her face.

Clarke marvelled at Lexa's instincts to remain silent until Clarke had made contact. Anyone else may have panicked at static, especially when the grounders were not familiar with radios. Clarke needed Lexa's cool logic now.

'Yeah, and I'm okay.' Clarke replied. 'Pike took Octavia and Murphy to interrogate them. I'm going after him.'

'Clarke, how are you going to get close to him?'

'By causing enough chaos to draw him to me.' Clarke answered. 'He didn't fall for the bait- not if he's taken the others- which means he still believes I'm yours and that gives me value. He won't want to kill me when he thinks I might know your plans but I won't hesitate to kill him.'

Clarke was convinced she heard Lexa take a sharp intake of breath. She could imagine the small flashes of emotion in Lexa's eyes which everyone else would miss. The worry and pain would be evident but so would the trust.

'At dawn, I need your army to make as much noise as possible. I need you to threaten war unless Lincoln, Octavia and the other grounders are safely returned to you.'

'It's a good plan.' Lexa replied knowingly. 'The others will fear for their lives and demand Pike hands the prisoners over but Pike will refuse. It will help destabilise them.'

'While showing that you're not a monster,' Clarke emphasised, 'and that you're not a savage.'

Regret filled Clarke as she remembered those words. Lexa had been so stoic even then but Clarke wondered if that whole night she had been haunted by memories of Costia. It was an utterly tragic night for Clarke and yet despite how they had been so firmly on opposing sides of the battle for Finn's life, their respect for each other had grown more than either could have ever believed possible.

'We are what we are.' Lexa said, and Clarke could swore she could hear a smile behind those words.

Clarke knew who they both were now. There were no lies and nothing to hide behind. She knew what they were both capable of and she embraced. She felt lucky really, when she looked around and the dull grey metallic armoury she was in, filled with enough weapons to slaughter any number of people, she knew that only she and Lexa could bring about a resolution. They had shown that only they together could bring peace. Her people, and Lexa's people, doubted it so often but they would prove it once more. This they would do side by side and Clarke didn't doubt that Lexa would stay with her this time, and then they would ride back into Polis together.

'I'm Wanheda now,' Clarke replied, 'so let's finally use that against Arkadia.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a pretty busy few days ahead so it may be a little while before the next update. Thank you all for reading and for comments and kudos. Much love to you all :)


	7. End of the Line

Clarke walked quickly along the corridor. Pike hadn't bothered to lockdown Arkadia despite accepting three outsiders (which now she, Octavia and Murphy were) and this meant only one thing given that two of the group were missing: Pike knew she was here to cause trouble and she was going to deliver.

'Lexa, I'm ready.'

'Understood.'

'Remember: long live the Commander.'

'It is the only information you have relayed to me, Clarke.'

Lexa's voice was clipped and it was not due to the radio. Clarke closed her eyes for a moment and fought the urge to confess all of her plan, or to simply break out of Arkadia and go back to Polis.

'Just...' Clarke's voice broke, '...just trust me one more time.'

It was another several seconds before Lexa responded but when she did, her voice was clear.

'I do trust you still, Clarke.'

Pride spread through Clarke and her mind latched itself onto the impossible task ahead.

'Then let's go.'

Clarke turned to the window at the sound of the war horn and watched as the sky lit up with a hundred flaming arrows. They were expertly shot and fell just within the walls of Arkadia, not intending to kill but the effect was immediate. Clarke watched as the lights of Arkadia went up and she saw Pike run across the grounds from where several people were tied up. She couldn't make them out but she was sure she knew exactly who it was.

Clarke ran to the doors closest to her and fiddled with the panel next to them. She hissed in frustration and smashed at it with her gun and the effect was instant as the corridors of Arkadia screamed with an alarm.

The hiss of doors opening started to fill Arkadia but Clarke slipped to the side wall and pulled the panel out so she could crawl inside. She instantly closed it, disappearing within the walls of Arkadia itself. She could hear the shouts of concern through the metal barricade she was hidden in and she began to make her way, crouched low, through Arkadia. The guards would be torn by the outward threat and trying to secure people inside. She needed to get Pike back within Arkadia and distracted by the chaos.

After five minutes, of climbing over metal beams and grates, Clarke turned left and pushed at the panel Octavia had told her about. She was near the farthest exit, and away from any of the housing area. She crawled out and looked along the right hand side corridor which was clear. She took left, carrying her gun steady as she finally stood straight. Two guards rushed through the doors and she quickly shot them in the leg. They cried out and Clarke kicked their guns away and stamped on their radios. They groaned in pain and tried to grab at her but they were desperate and weak on the floor and she easily stepped out of their reach. She didn't recognise them; they had to be from Farm Station.

Clarke carried on into the next corridor and shot at the guard waiting. There was a loud bang as the bullet connected with metal and the guard launched himself down the next corridor, screaming for back up. Clarke smiled as she quickened her pace. The sounds of footsteps echoed behind her and she made haste. Firing her gun twice behind and she heard as the footsteps halted in their pace. She turned left into the next corridor and shot the one guard standing there in the leg. Before he could even collapse, Clarke grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up so his back was pressed against her chest and she walked backwards with him, pointing her gun at his face.

She could feel him shuddering against her and Clarke tried to soothe his cries as they carried on but the footsteps grew louder. She pressed on, making her way around and glancing behind so she didn't walk into the walls as the corridor curved. The shouts ahead grew louder but Clarke kept stepping backwards, half dragging her prisoner.

'Clarke! Stop!' Bellamy shouted as he rounded the corridor and finally caught up to her.

His own assault rifle was steady in his hands but his eyes were wide in alarm.

'Clarke, what are you doing?'

His voice was gruff and Clarke blinked back tears at the memory of how they last parted.

'What needs to be done.' Clarke said quietly.

The guard in her arms squirmed but Clarke pressed the tip of her gun against the bottom of his chin and he stilled. His injured leg quaked beneath them and Clarke wondered how long he would be able to bear the pain.

'Bring me Pike or an innocent dies.' Clarke said quietly and as composed as she was when she had faced Emerson at Arkadia.

'You're not this person, Clarke.' Bellamy said, and he lifted his faced away from the gun to look at her without the lens.

Clarke didn't need to be seen through a target.

'You know that I am.'

'No,' Bellamy pleaded, 'what you did to Dante, you had to do. You were saving us all.'

'That's what I'm doing now.' Clarke replied.

Footsteps thundered along the corridors and more guards joined Bellamy. Clarke pressed her back to the wall as guards came down the opposite end of the corridor.

'Stay back!' Bellamy ordered them.

They hesitated under Bellamy's angry glare and backed up a few feet so that they were nearly ten metres away from her.

'Is Lexa going to attack?'

Clarke's face remained impassive and Bellamy inched forward.

'Is this what Lexa has turned you into, Clarke? Her puppet?'

'And what has Pike turned you into, Bellamy?'

'I wouldn't hold one of my own hostage.'

'No, you'd just slaughter an army of allies.' Clarke replied. 'So here is the deal: you bring me Pike or I kill this guy and the grounder army will destroy you all.'

'Clarke, please-'

'Courtesy means nothing in this world.' Clarke retorted.

Bellamy eyed her for a moment and she knew what at last was finally coming: the challenge that should have been issued from the very beginning.

'Then do it, Clarke.' Bellamy said, dropping his gun on the floor.

The guards stepped forward in a swift motion but Bellamy screamed at them to halt.

'Wait for my command!' Bellamy hissed.

Bellamy stepped into the middle of corridor, defenceless.

'Make your move, Clarke.'

Clarke's finger ached over the trigger. Her gun was jammed into the side of the guard's face. He hissed and gave great shaking breaths in her arm but Clarke's eyes never left Bellamy. Her thumb twitched over the gun and she pushed the guard away, dropping the rifle on the ground.

Clarke's face was slammed into the floor and her wrists were pulled behind her back. In a second she was heaved to her feet and facing Bellamy.

'You should have come back with me.' Bellamy said sadly.

Clarke's expression remained blank as her guards pulled her down into the depths of Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Thank you for your kudos and reviews! You are all too kind.
> 
> I just want to put a little warning for future for those who aren't used to my fics. I do go dark (as I'm sure many of those who have read my fics before will agree) but I also play around with a lot of traditional concepts. This has and will include the concept of death. At the end of Grasping Water I actually managed to get rid of death (because everyone has to die at some point but I swore that Clexa wouldn't die and were endgame so I had to find a way to deliver). Lexa is safe in this fic otherwise I would have just had her shot, killed and then played around with that. There is dark stuff but nothing is lost or final or done at all (and this is still a long way in the future). I know why this might not appeal to everyone; people generally read fics for fun when a show has screwed around with people's emotions so much but I've always liked to play around with stories. 
> 
> That said, for those reading Polis then I promise there is nothing remotely close to death coming up with that.


	8. Sacrifice

'Something's wrong.' Bellamy whispered.

He was sat in engineering, his leg twitching nervously. Pike had promised to be fair with Clarke but she had broken into Arkadia twice now and she had turned actively against her own people. Monty was pacing anxiously around and another guard was with them, who had trained under Pike when they were in Azgeda territory.

'What?' The guard asked.

'Clarke doesn't back down.' Bellamy muttered, almost to himself. 'It was too easy.'

* * *

 

Clarke lips pursed into a thin smile as her arms were handcuffed to a low hanging railing in one of the empty rooms that she had been brought into. There was nothing in this room and Clarke knew why; it was now an interrogation room for unofficial interviews. Octavia and Murphy had probably been brought here. She hoped with all her heart that they were still alive and hadn't been taken to their deaths. Bellamy would have protected Octavia and Murphy had never done anything to suggest allegiance to Lexa and the clans. She hoped that would be enough to keep them safe.

Two guards stepped back from her once she was secure and the door closed behind Pike as he stepped in, wearing a look of a triumph.

'Clarke Griffin,' he greeted, 'it has been a while.'

'Not long enough, really.' Clarke sighed.

Pike gave a soft chuckle.

'You always had spark. Even when you were wrong, you were convinced you were right.'

Clarke remained silent and Pike stepped closer to her so that he was only several centimetres away. His eyes were bloodshot; he wouldn't have slept when the demands of leadership were so high and Arkadia was falling apart around him.

His breath was cool against her face but Clarke's gaze never deviated from his eyes.

He sighed, almost as if in defeat.

'Tell me Lexa's plans.'

Clarke offered only a smile.

'The grounders sent a messenger saying that if we did not release our prisoners then they would attack.' Pike spat. 'The Commander-'

'Our Commander.' Clarke corrected. 'Skaikru are the thirteenth clan.'

'We reject the Coalition!' Pike shouted, furious.

'I do not.'

Pike's face tightened and Clarke was sure it was taking a good deal of effort for him not to begin screaming at her.

'We are not releasing the prisoners.' Pike said. 'They know of Arkadia's design and protocols. They cannot leave and the grounders have no right to attack us.'

Clarke gave a shrug of her shoulders. She rested her head against her right arm. Her arms were already starting to ache but she wore an expression of supreme ease and boredom.

'Clarke, we are your people. You can help us.' Pike pleaded. 'Lexa trusted you. You can tell us how to defend ourselves.'

She remembered a night when watching the Ark fall out of the sky had given her hope while they were facing slaughter by Trikru. She never expected her people to turn into this and to fill her with disgust and shame.

'I'm one of Lexa's people now.' Clarke replied.

'Then why did you spare the guard?' Pike challenged quickly.

Clarke gave a bitter laugh and leaned forward, pulling against her restraints.

'I'm Wanheda but I am not like you. I won't just kill somebody because I feel like it.'

'This plan is foolish, Clarke. Lexa has sacrificed you for nothing.' Pike retorted. 'I heard that some poor girl died years ago for loving Lexa. You will risk that same path when she so obviously cares nothing for you?'

The silence stretched on and it seemed to bounce off the walls as menacingly as raging bullets.

'I just don't understand you, Clarke. You were always an independent spirit. Wells couldn't hold you back from anything you wanted.' Pike said, tears forming but out of regretful nostalgia or frustration Clarke could not tell. 'You always went after what you wanted but you've walked in here to die- and for what? The grounders? Their leader's ego? We are not theirs.'

'I am not yours.' Clarke replied.

Pike looked down at the ground for a moment, shaking his head slightly and when his eyes met Clarke they were filled with regret and sadness.

'I have to protect my people, Clarke.' Pike said quietly.

'Trust me,' Clarke replied, with a bitter smile, 'if anyone understands then it's me.'

Pike reached to his belt and pulled out his shock stick. It buzzed and glowed in warning. Clarke eyed it warily. It had been threatened many times against her in the Sky Box but she had managed to escape its wrath, until today.

'You will tell me what you know of the Commander's plans.' Pike told her solemnly.

'I'll tell you nothing.' Clarke replied, her voice flat.

* * *

 

Lexa closed her eyes as Clarke's screams pierced through the tent. Indra and Titus remained silently behind her. Lexa felt tears roll down her face, no doubt smudging her war paint Clarke had told her to wear. Clarke had told her to be strong throughout all of this and she was haunted by the memory of Gustus telling her to remain strong before she snuffed out his life.

Lexa's eyes opened and she spun around to face Indra.

'Prepare the attack.' Lexa commanded.

'Heda-'

'Do as I say, Indra!' Lexa roared, already hurrying to the exit of the tent.

'Heda! Stop!' Indra demanded and Lexa froze at her defiance. 'I know you are worried but your emotions are clouding your judgement. You must trust Clarke.'

Lexa tore her gaze away from the exit and paced around the tent, grasping at the hilt of her sword as Clarke's cries seeped into every corner of the tent and of Lexa's soul. Clarke needed her; she was in agony. It was a foolish plan and she seethed that Clarke had manipulated this entire situation. Clarke would have known she would have fought this plan so Clarke merely gave her a code that would be uttered when Clarke thought the time was right to raise the army. She was Heda however, and she waited for no one.

'I know Costia's death haunts you. Her disappearance...and you could not help her.'

'I made a choice.' Lexa replied, her voice a dangerous whisper.

'You couldn't start a war over one person.' Indra reasoned.

'One of my people.' Lexa corrected, drawing to a stop in front of Indra. 'The woman I loved.'

'This is not history repeating itself. Clarke knows what she is doing.' Indra pressed. 'I have never given the girl as much credit as she deserves but Octavia told me always to trust in Clarke to defeat the Mountain Men because she always has a plan.'

'Reckless plans are Clarke's strong suit.' Lexa retorted coldly, remembering how Clarke foolishly tried to kill Nia. 'She's risking too much. She needs me.'

'And she has you, Heda.' Indra urged. 'Talk to her. Support her but let Clarke decide what she needs. It is her choice now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as per for your wonderful comments and kudos :)


	9. The Sentence

 

Clarke grunted, her head lolling against her arm and sweat tickled her face as it dripped down her. Her back was as sore as if she had been lashed with a whip and not the shock sticks. She could barely make out what Pike was saying but he was screaming now. He was beginning to break.

There were thuds and scrapes along the corridors of Arkadia. She'd heard a woman screaming before, and she was sure it was her mother.

The sun was beginning to rise. The room was bathed in a golden light, which merely caused Clarke to moan. She wanted darkness. She wanted sleep.

There was a knock on the door and Clarke heard it creak open, not bothering to raise her head to see who it was.

'Sir,' Bellamy's voice croaked, 'what's the plan?'

'Clarke!' Monty shouted, aghast.

'She's alive,' Pike said, in tones of annoyance, 'and she's told us nothing.'

 'Maybe she doesn't know anything.' Bellamy tried.

'Do you really think the great Wanheda knows nothing? With all of the things she has seen in the enemy's territory?'

'She's one of us, Sir.' Bellamy begged.

'Not anymore.' Pike spat. 'Release her.

There was a click at her wrists and Clarke dropped straight to the floor, her face hitting the ground. Her hair was sprawled over her head. She couldn't even summon the energy to move. Her face was surely now bruised but the cool metal was soothing to her skin.

'Clarke!'

'Not you, Monty.' Pike warned. 'Hold her.'

Clarke felt herself yanked up roughly. She gave a small cry and her legs shuddered violently beneath her. Her hair was brushed out of her face and she struggled to open her eyes, and when she did she regretted the effort.

'I'm sorry this was your choice, Clarke.' Pike said, turning around.

'Get this over with.' Clarke spat.

Bellamy and Monty exchanged horrified looks before the guards dragged her out of the room and behind Pike.

Clarke's feet dragged along the corridor and she struggled to gain control but she pushed the guards slightly so she could regain their balance. Their control over her was regained instantly but she would walk through Arkadia. She would not be dragged.

Guards tried to order Skaikru back but it was no use. People pushed forward along the corridors to get a glimpse of her. Clarke tried to hold her head high but the pain was still trembling through her back and it was all she could do to stay in the moment and not slip into unconsciousness. There were quiet muttering flooding the halls, despite the guards calls for silence.

'Is that her? The one who stopped the Mountain Men?'

'It's Clarke!'

'Clarke!'

'Is that Abbey's kid?'

'That is- that's the Griffin girl! She was best friends with Jaha's son!'

Clarke grinned to herself. The disruption she had caused had at least warned people that something was afoot, or her mother had. There would be no silent execution. Clarke would make sure of that.

The entrance doors opened with a dull creak. Clarke squinted in the glow of the morning sun but she could make out silhouettes ahead, near the fence. She was pushed roughly forward and she bit back a curse, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of her pain.

The ground sloshed beneath her feet so that her boots sunk slightly with every step. It must have been a heavy rain last night. Clarke glanced at the sky but there was no sign of clouds. She couldn't help the bubble of regret. She would have liked to feel the rain of her face for one very last time but then, she had always dreamed of being under the sun. This was perhaps the more fitting end.

She carried on through the grounds of Arkadia and people poured out from all exits.

'Leave them!' Pike yelled to the guards and Clarke smiled again; he was losing control.

As she drew closer, she felt a pang of shame at the sight of Sinclair, Kane, Lincoln, Octavia and Murphy tied up and clearly awaiting their own executions. She hadn't wanted this for them. There was still time and hopefully she could still change things and spare them, even if her own course was set. She didn't want to be responsible for yet another Skaikru death- not after Finn.

Octavia and Murphy had followed her here willingly. Octavia may have always returned on her own to try to rescue Lincoln and the others but Murphy had returned purely because she'd asked him to. She let the regret drain from her heart when she thought of Lexa; Lexa would save them. Lexa would keep her word and she would give Skaikru hope and end the bloodshed.

Clarke was pulled to a halt a hundred yards or so away from where Octavia and the others were bound. Clarke felt a single tear roll down her face. Octavia though, gave her a small nod, her eyes blazing with pain and understanding and Clarke could only offer a small smile back. She didn't want Octavia to be scared. Octavia still had time and Bellamy would protect her, even if her own time was now run dry.

Clarke turned around slowly to face Pike. His eyes were fixed upon her, and his hand clutching his pistol trembled. Almost all of Skaikru appeared behind Pike. Her mother was sobbing loudly, and Jasper and Raven held her back. Raven inexplicably looked as though she was struggling to stand and Jasper's face was covered in bruises. There was no sign of Jackson, who always doted on her mother, and Clarke started to wonder what she was leaving Skaikru too. Monty and Bellamy pushed their way through the crowds but Abbey pushed Bellamy away from her. She was sure she heard Raven hiss that he wasn't worth it.

Clarke scanned the rest of the crowds and saw the tears pouring down Harper's face and Miller stood behind her stoically. He gave her a tight smile and Clarke's whole body warmed in gratitude. There were still those who would take care of the hundred.

'On your knees, Clarke.' Pike ordered quietly, but his voice still seemed to ring out through the grounds.

'I bow only to Heda.' Clarke replied defiantly and there was a gasp of shock from the watching crowd.

Pike inhaled sharply at the words and Clarke watched as his hand gripped the gun more tightly.

'Clarke of the Sky People, also known as Wanheda the Mountain Slayer, you have been sentenced to death for treason.' Pike exclaimed loudly.

Abby screamed loudly at the words but Jasper and Monty tried to pull her away. Abbey tried to fight them off but they gripped her tightly and she sunk to her knees.

'I'll be okay, Mom.' Clarke mouthed to her mother but there was no subsiding of tears, and Clarke found her own falling more freely now.

'Do you have any last words, Clarke?' Pike asked.

Clarke nodded slowly and Pike stepped back half a pace.

Clarke's eyes turned towards the crowd. A lot of the faces were clear in their despair but Clarke couldn't miss the fact that many were also proudly reverent of Pike and wore a look of disgust and contempt for her. She wasn't surprised. She didn't recognise those closest to Pike and she hadn't even bothered to get to know all the Arkers when they landed, she was much too focused on trying to find her friends.

She met Jasper's eyes which were ablaze. Raven's own gaze was fierce and as Clarke's eyes met hers, Raven turned her head towards Pike and gave a short nod. Bellamy shuffled next to her and his hand twitched near his gun.

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again they latched themselves to Pike. It was hard to believe that he had been her teacher and mentor, and this was what his guidance and instruction had brought Arkadia: death and hatred.

Clarke willed her voice  to carry the strength her body lacked. Lexa, and all of their people, would hear her words.  

'Long live the Commander!'

Bellamy's shot just missed Pike who launched himself out of the way. Raven, Monty, Harper, Miller and Jasper surged forwards ready to fight. There was a scream of Pike's supporters, including Monty's mother, as they rounded on the crowd but arrows poured from the sky with pinpoint precision and the guards were driven back.

The war horn boomed over the landscape and within seconds the gates of Arkadia were ripped off their hinges and Lexa led a charging army into Arkadia.

Clarke threw herself to where the others were bound and quickly untied Octavia and Lincoln first, who charged into battle with cries of anger, and then she freed Murphy, Sinclair and Kane.

Screams spilled onto the ground as freely as blood as sky people fought alongside and against each other and the grounders tried to make their way through the chaos, targeting Pike's people and screaming for justice.

Arkadia was lost to its own brutal civil war. The violence of the Sky People had fallen from the sky to taint the earth. As more people poured out from Arkadia, the ground was lost to a war as ferocious as the day the hundred had faced Trikru and Clarke wondered if in deliberately provoking war between her people, they would ever be able to find peace again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kudos :) Obviously there shall be quite a bit of drama next chapter and hints to what's gone of with Raven and the whole ALIE thing (but focus will predominately be on the Battle of Arkadia).


	10. Wounded in Action

Screams and cries roared through Arkadia. People punched and kicked  and shock sticks clashed with swords as people fought for their lives. A man with an assault rifle fired into the crowd, taking out Arkadians and grounders alike with a terrifying ease as the bullets rattled through the grounds. Trikru warriors ran forward in unity and the gun was turned upon them. One by one they met their deaths, but the warriors behind held up their bodies and used them as shields. Bullets tore through the dead, spraying blood everywhere but the warriors could not be stopped and soon he was overwhelmed.

All of her friends were locked in battle, Bellamy was stood picking off the guard until one last pull of the trigger was met with a quiet click. He froze, and stared in horror at his empty gun as Hannah smiled and pointed hers toward him. There was a scream as the shot echoed through the grounds but it was Hannah who fell, as Monty's hands trembled around his pistol and his eyes were wide as he watched her body slump to the floor.

Pike reached for his own gun but without thinking, Clarke slammed into him at full force. They hit the muddy ground with a rough splatter and Clarke's hands slipped over his face as she tried to push him down. Her weight surged forwards and she barely managed to slam her fists into the ground, but as she tried to steady herself she was thrown with a dull pain into the ground as Pike's elbow connected with her face.

She rolled quickly but a hand grabbed her ankle and she kicked out. Pike grunted, clutching his face but his other hand sought his gun once more. Bellamy threw himself at Pike and began to punch every inch of him but Pike blocked a punch with his arm and swung his fist furiously, it connecting with Bellamy's chin. Bellamy's head launched upwards and he fell back while a shot rang out. Bellamy screamed, clutching his forearm and Clarke jumped to Pike and threw the pistol out of his hands so it sunk into the mud.

Pike punched at Clarke but she dodged it and swung her leg, trapping Pike's between his own and she shoved his legs out from underneath him. She dove on top of him again but Pike pulled the shock stick rapidly from his belt and swerved to connected it with the base of her spine.

Clarke froze above Pike as pain suddenly gripped her once more. She couldn't even scream, a weak moan was all that was muttered as the pain reverberated up her back once more.

Pike pulled the stick away and Clarke fell upon him. He pushed her roughly away and slowly crawled to where his gun was now lying, glinting slightly in the sun despite being half hidden by mud. Pike spluttered and spat onto the ground as he slowly stood tall, turning to Clarke.

Clarke panted where she lay, wishing to drown in the cool mud. Pike and the gun cast a shadow over her. She tried to swing her legs but they barely twitched and she sighed in frustration as Pike's raging eyes took in every inch of her pathetic state.

'I am sorry for you, Clarke.' Pike muttered.

There was a fierce roar as two legs slammed into Pike's chest, and brown hair was billowing against the sky. Pike gave a scream, dropping the gun once more as his back shattered into the ground. Lexa spun her blades menacingly in her hand.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.'

Lexa ran two blades through Pike's chest. His head jerked up and he gave a rasping grunt but he fell back, lying in a pool of his own blood.

Lexa spun to Clarke, her green eyes wide with fear and clearly visible despite the war paint. Clarke tried to sit up but she gave a weak cry and slumped back into the ground when her back refused to comply.

Hands ran through her hair and Clarke looked up into Lexa's concerned face.

'I'm getting you out of here.' Lexa told her calmly, despite the waging war all around.

Clarke nodded, accepting defeat as pain continued to make her shudder violently in Lexa's arms.

'I've got her.'

Clarke turned her head as her mother came running into view. She watched as Lexa traded a look of conflict with Abby; both held doubts about the other but Lexa nodded and Clarke felt herself gently lifted up and placed in her mother's arms.

'Bellamy!' Clarke said quickly.

'Jasper got him inside.' Abby answered. 'We need to take you in- now.'

Lexa's eyes reached Clarke once more but she slowly started to turn.

'Wait!'

Lexa turned back to Clarke with as much speed as when she had slammed into Pike.

'Clarke, I'll be fine. You need to get inside. Your fight is over- for now.' Lexa said tenderly, stepping forward and running her fingers through Clarke's hair once more.

Clarke swallowed, blinking back tears. She longed to reach up and kiss Lexa but even being held in this position was more agony than she had known. Lexa gave her a small smile before she turned and charged at the nearest guard who was trying to knock people out with shock sticks.

Clarke watched, fear sloshing through her stomach but her mother turned quickly and Lexa was gone from her line of sight. Abby quickly tried to sprint by everyone as they fought all around. Jaha was treading over dead victims to get to those injured and crying out in pain. He kneeled beside one and placed his hand over her mouth.

'What is-'

Clarke's words were cut off as she fell to the floor and screamed in agony. A guard was punching her mother frenetically but there was a buzz of electricity and he soon fell back with Jasper standing over him.

'I'm getting pretty good at this.' Jasper muttered, before stooping down to help Abby.

'Get Clarke!' Her mother shouted, batting Jasper away and he gave a quick nod, running to Clarke and pulling her up with a lot less grace and care than Lexa.

'I hate these damn wars.' Jasper muttered as he and Abby pushed their way back into Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you all for kudos and comments. I'm sorry for the slow update but I have been swamped. Hopefully it was worth the wait though!


	11. Running on Wrath

 

Lexa sealed Clarke from her mind, having seen her go into Arkadia with Abbey. The building was secure; one of her units had secured it as all of those from Arkadia had rushed out into the grounds to fight. Clarke was safe in Abbey's hands, or she would be as long as Lexa could win the bloody battle.

Any gun fire was quickly stifled by a rush of soldiers and a hundred arrows pouring in where the archers were crowded near the entrance and had climbed along the great fence. The guard were being slaughtered. Lexa rushed forward and slashed, left, right and left again low so that three of the guard were fallen into a heap. She continued to charge as Jaha's figure stooped low over a woman who lay in agony and he held a chip in his hand.

Lexa's blades ripped through his chest with such force that the weight of his body slumped against the swords and she had to kick him back to release her blades.

She glanced down for a second at his pathetic lifeless form. He had been weak when she had first met him. It had been Kane that had been strong, Kane that had come up with the solutions and Kane that was willing to sacrifice himself. All that Jaha had offered was tales of how special to Sky people were compared to everyone else. It had been why Lexa had released him before Kane; Jaha had little value. She did not understand his scheming but she knew that whatever it was it had been better to put an end to it. In war, he had chosen not to fight but was seeking out the weak for whatever purpose. If she regretted it later, she would deal with it but now she turned back to battle with a sense that somehow she had help to avoid a keen danger; the Flame was surely guiding her still.

The sun was blazing now. The mud was beginning to crisp into crumbling flakes that fell off like dust as Lexa ran from enemy to enemy. The guard stood no chance. Their guns slaughtered so many but at such close range they were powerless. They would rain bullets into one or two warriors but Lexa's army would rush forwards with defiance lacing their souls to bring down the tyranny that had been Pike's Skaikru.

 Lexa met the shock stick as a guard twice the size in height and width struck out at her and she quickly spun, cutting his legs and as he fell forwards she drew her blade through his gut. She pulled it out with a look of supreme unconcern etched upon her features. She had been trained for this for many years.

Lexa began to slow as the guard fell all around. Grounders and Arkadians stepped back from the fight as the last of the guard were wounded or killed. The end of the battle was always the most difficult time, Lexa thought. The nerves and tension helped to give a focus but as the battle began to quiet down, and people realised the futility of their position there was always a lingering sadness and regret.

Lexa raised her arm and there was a loud billow of the horn. The healers who had been kept back rushed through the gate and Lexa indicated her head towards Arkadia. The injured would be taken care of while the dead would be put to rest.

Indra charged over, with mud peeling from her face but she did not have a scratch upon her.

'I followed your orders.' Indra said quickly, 'but now we need to organise.'

'All will be treated within Arkadia. Do a resource check, if food is needed send those who did not fight out to hunt. Indra, I want Titus by your side at all times.'

'Yes, Heda.' Indra said. 'But Arkadia has no leader.'

They have Clarke, Lexa thought to herself but Clarke was likely undergoing treatment and Lexa had to check her status.

'Kane will be the interim leader.' Lexa replied easily. 'He can lead while the wounded are cared for and then Arkadia can decide how to proceed.'

The change from battle to camp was instantaneous. Those of the guard who had been injured fighting for Pike were taken to a separate area of Arkadia to be treated, although Lexa would not allow it to be where her prisoners had been detained. Pike had spoken of them as though they were savages. Lexa knew her people were better than that and she would show that to Pike's people.

 Tenets would soon be erected across the grounds and a great fire would be roaring. People scrambled to carry the dead carefully out of the way and to the side of the fence. There would be a great platform of wood erected to burn them all so they could be at peace.

Lexa strode inside the main entrance to the facility, her mud clogged boots heavy on the metal floor. People rushed backwards and forwards and Lexa followed down the corridor, with more purpose than she had carried when she had rushed from duel to duel. 

She walked quickly through the corridors, and people of all kin stepped aside to allow her to pass as soon as they noted the war paint of the commander's outfit. Lexa saw Abbey close the door to medical behind her and brush her hair back, looking thoroughly weary. Abbey turned and caught Lexa's eye and her look was one of torment.

Lexa drew to a halt just short of Abbey and shot her a questioning look.

'It's Clarke.' Abbey answered. 'It's not good.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry this has been a bit slow. Thank you all for your comments and kudos on the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed Lexa kicking everyone's arse in this one ;)


	12. Motherly Love

Clarke stared up at the buzzing fluorescent lights in medical with a distinct feeling of déjà vu. The greatest difference on this occasion however, was the overwhelming pain she was experiencing.

Her back was throbbing. Her face was laced with sweat. She wasn't sure she had ever felt this drained before. She'd tried to climb out of the bed but she hadn't even been able to sit up an inch. She despised being stuck inside when a war was actually raging just outside the doors. Lexa, her friends...they were all risking their lives while she was lying on her back.

The horns had blared the sound of peace now a while later, but she was sure at first it had been a trick of the mind. Her mother was still bent over her and whispering something to a concerned looking Jasper. Clarke could have smiled at how grim he looked- it was better than hate at any rate- but she found that task demanded more energy than she could spare.

'Where's she gone?' Clarke croaked when the doors of medical banged close.

Jasper stepped forward and looked down at her. Clarke suddenly regretted ever wishing to banish hatred from his eyes when it had been replaced by pity.

'She'll be back in a minute.' Jasper answered.

Clarke looked away from him and returned to staring at the light, despite how it made her eyes ache. If her mother needed a moment then it was bad. She'd worked in medical enough times with her. Her mother would always disappear to her office for several moments and return out fresh faced ready to deliver the bad news.

'Is everyone - is anyone-'

'We're all fine.' Jasper replied. 'Jaha's dead and some of the others are missing but we can talk about that later.'

Clarke swallowed the words. She didn't want to think how anyone could be missing after such a contained battle. Her mind couldn't care for that now, there was just one question. Jasper had said they were all okay, their people...

'Le-the Commander...'

Clarke's words were lost as there was a dull creak and the doors opened again. Clarke swung her head around and finally managed a smile at the sight of Lexa. She looked as regal as ever, but under the war paint Clark could see the concern that was burrowed into her features. It was hard to imagine that Lexa had just fought in a war. She was so self contained. Clarke felt like a mess half of the time but whatever this life gave Lexa, it never seemed to weaken her. Yet, Clarke had never felt so weak in her life.

Clarke tried in vain to sit up again but she gave a weak gasp and had to admit defeat when her body refused to comply. Lexa instantly drew up alongside the bed, with Jasper stepping back to give them space. Clarke's hand reached for Lexa's and she laced their fingers together. Lexa looked down at her and offered a reassuring smile: she was here, alive and whole. She had survived the war and the threat of Skaikru was finished. They finally had their peace.  
'I'll leave you guys to it.' Jasper said, breaking the moment slightly and Abby nodded her head solemnly as he stepped outside.

Her mother's eyes lingered upon their intertwined fingers before her eyes flicked to Clarke's, her expression bitter.

'What is it?'

Her voice was tight as she tried to hold onto her composure. If this was going to be bad news then she wanted it over with. She was used to rushing into battle. If she knew the problem then she could begin to fix it. Her mother though, would be likely to stall and Clarke did not have time for that.

'Clarke-' Her mother's voice faltered and Clarke took a sharp intake of breath as she saw her mother look around hopelessly.

She felt Lexa's fingers twitch in hers impatiently and she gripped Lexa's hand more tightly.

'Well, I can feel my legs.' Clarke started, working through the problems just like she would if this was on the Ark, 'the damage was at my lower back so...kidneys?'

A single tear rolled down her mother's face and she nodded.

'I'm already drenched in sweat...which could be due to pain or a sign of infection.' Clarke deduced but her mother finally found her voice.

'It's not-it's...' Abbey stepped forward and gripped Clarke's left arm.

At the movement, Clarke's other hand held tighter to Lexa. There was little good that her mother ever brought with her.

'The repeated shocks to your lower back has damaged one of your kidneys.' Abbey said finally.

Clarke nodded slightly, letting the words sink in. She had been tortured repeatedly in the same place. The longest anyone had survived on the Ark had been with fifty eight shock lashes. Clarke had withstood forty. She avoided Lexa's gaze, knowing she had been forced to listen to every second of that encounter.

'That's why we have a spare.' Clarke joked but she felt Lexa's eyes bearing into her and she struggled to hold back tears.

'We could leave it. It's not ruined. There's medication to slow any bleeding and we can hope that may be enough to stop the damage.' Abbey said.

'Or?' Lexa prompted and Clarke did not miss the strained look Abbey gave Lexa.

'Or we could take it out.' Abbey responded, looking to Clarke. 'But there are no antibiotics. Clarke, you'd be exposed to overwhelming risk of infection and with one kidney and no medical support, even if it was successful you might only live another ten or twenty years...if you're lucky.'

Clarke blinked rapidly, until the tears were merciful enough to leave her. She looked to the light again, not wanting to see the worry on her mother's face or the fear on Lexa's.

'So let's get started then.' Clarke said and she was surprised to find her voice was quite steady.

'What?' Her mother said sharply.

Clarke inhaled deeply, stealing herself for a fight and when she turned to her mother it was with a blazing determination in her eyes.

'The surgery to remove my damaged kidney.' Clarke said clearly.

'Clarke, the risks-'

'-are nothing compared to leaving it in.' Clarke spat. 'If the bleeding doesn't stop my blood pressure will continue to drop and I will die. If it does stop, my kidney is still damaged and I already have a fever.'

'Which can be managed!' Abbey argued.

'I will die-not in hours but in days- in agony of an infection.' Clarke replied angrily. 'My body will shut down. Taking out the kidney is the only way.'

'We have medications to manage any infection!' Her mother shouted. 'If your kidney comes out you will be greatly weakened. Your life will be shortened-'

Clarke gave a loud humorless laugh, cutting off her mother until the pain in her back became so great she gave a sharp gasp and violent wince. Lexa stooped over her and stroked her hair as Clarke grimaced in pain. Clarke gave a shuddering breath as the pain slowly began to settle. Clarke met Lexa's green eyes and recognised the grim determination there. It had been the same look she had worn at Mount Weather; but this was in unity. She had accepted Clarke's decision.

Clarke's eyes turned back to her mother.

'How many days have we been on the ground? And how many of us have survived?' Clarke challenged. 'I don't even know if I want to live another twenty years of this life but I do know that any of us will be lucky to make it through the week.'

'Clarke-'

'RAVEN!' Clarke screamed at the top of her lungs and Lexa recoiled in shock.

There was a crash through the door as Raven pushed her way in, with Jasper trailing behind her.

'Get Nyko.' Clarke demanded.

'What are you doing?' Lexa asked, bewildered.

Raven was staring at her completely baffled and Jasper wore a look of a man who knew war was awaiting him.

'Get Nyko and I will give him instructions. He can do it.'

'Clarke,' Abbey sighed, exasperated, 'Nyko isn't qualified.'

'Then you do it!' Clarke shouted stubbornly.

Raven and Jasper traded looks of complete torment, not knowing what to do while Abbey stared at Clarke incredulously.

'It's not the right choice-'

'It's my body! It's my decision!' Clarke shouted fiercely. 'I'm getting this kidney out of me whatever you say, so for once in your life will you be a mother and suck it up!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) Sorry for yet another sort of cliff hanger. You *must* be used to be by now though (especially those of you who had the willpower to stick through Grasping Water). I do like chapter endings to be a bit dramatic :P   
> I'm not sure who I pity most in this chapter. Probably Clarke because she's in so much pain...poor Lexa and Abbey though. Raven and Jasper also get some sympathies for being stuck in the middle of a Griffin showdown. I definitely do not envy them.   
> Thank you for reading and for any kudos and comments! :)


	13. Support

Raven glanced between Clarke and Lexa. Clarke looked weaker than Raven had ever seen her, even when she'd had that damn virus. Lexa's hand was gripping Clarke's and the Commander looked down upon Skaikru's true leader, or at least heir to it.

'Commander,' Raven started and Lexa shot her a glance of surprise; Raven knew they were entirely lost to each other even while Abbey prepared for the surgery, 'I need to speak with you outside.'

Raven heard Clarke murmur that it was okay. Raven turned and stepped out of medical, Lexa followed behind her and when she turned to Lexa she saw that her face was as impassive as ever. It was not encouraging.

'You should let me stay with her.' Raven started and Lexa's eyebrows quicker as though issuing a sort of challenge.

'I've been through this.' Raven explained. 'I needed surgery and I asked Finn to stay...and it broke him.'

'You think I'll commit a massacre?' Lexa challenge quietly.

'I don't know.' Raven snapped. 'You did tie me to a tree and torture me for nothing.'

Lexa's eyes turned to ice. Raven sighed, exasperated.

'I know you're special to Clarke.'

Raven was surprised to find herself fighting a smile when Lexa's head titled for the briefest of seconds but the questioning look had instantly given away to the default mode of the Commander.

'No one knows more than I do that Clarke likes to think she hides her feelings- but she can't.' Raven said, fighting a hundred memories of discovering Clarke and Finn's relationship or the grief and guilt that surrounded Clarke after his death. 'She won't want to put you through it. Trust me, she won't want to see what it does to you. If you stay, she'll regret it forever.'

'She will be unconscious.' Lexa pointed out.

'Abbey doesn't know if it'll be for the whole time or whether the pain will wake her up.' Raven said. 'Clarke could die in surgery, do you really want to watch that?'  
'I want to be there for her.'

Lexa showed no wavering but Raven had to make her understand. She owed it to Clarke. How many times had Clarke saved them? She had to at least save Lexa for her.  
'That isn't what she needs.'

Lexa blinked slowly and looked back at the doors to medical. Raven was sure she was going to go back inside to see Clarke but Lexa looked back at her and gave a slight nod.  
'So this is how I'm there for her?' Lexa asked. 'By letting her do it alone?'

'It wouldn't be the first time.' Raven whispered, but not entirely unkind.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Raven didn't know why she felt sorry for Lexa. It was hard not to resent her; she had finally begun to accept that Finn's death was neither Clarke nor Lexa's fault and then Lexa had abandoned them all at Mount Weather. Raven could still feel the pain of the drill in her hip from when they had stolen her marrow. It haunted her again now that ALIE had lost her control and presence within Raven's mind. Lexa had left them all to die, and Clarke had ended up so broken from the events she had ran away from her people. They would never have stopped searching for her or hoping that she could be found. Raven had watched Abbey fall apart a little more day by day as there was no word of Clarke. Instead, any ideas of talking Clarke round and convincing her she could have a life with her people had been completely shattered. Clarke had returned twice and both times to be arrested and this time she'd been left half dead.

Lexa finally stepped back away from the door, making her decision and Raven gave her a small smile and pushed the door open to medical. She grabbed a stool and pulled it around to the side of Clarke's bed. Abbey was still getting all of the equipment together but Raven knew she would delay starting for as long as she could. They didn't know what came next. It would be a cruel moment when Abbey would finally have to give Clarke the reaper stick.

'Thank you.' Clarke said quietly.

Raven nodded.

'One of these days you'll have to explain how you two happened.' Raven said, perplexed.

'If I ever figure it out...'

Raven watched Clarke breathing heavily. She looked as though she was fishing tears and she was staring up at the ceiling. Raven knew she would be terrified and she was grateful that at least now they have the reaper sticks and Clarke would not have to experience the full pain of surgery.

'Do you love her?' Raven asked quietly and Clarke looked at her in alarm, guilt etched upon her face.

'Raven-'

'It's okay.' Raven said.' 'He'd want you to.'

'I never planned for any of it.' Clarke replied, in a small voice and Raven gave a short laugh.

'Clarke, we fell from space. No one could have planned for any of this.'

'Fair point.' Clarke said, giving her a small smile but she soon turned thoughtful. 'Are you going to tell me where you were?'

Raven furrowed her brow as she looked at Clarke.

'When I came here to see Bellamy...Octavia helped us, Miller and Harper were helping her for a while, Kane and my mother were on our side, Monty was with Bellamy, Jasper was too lost to pay attention to it...but you never came up.'

Raven glanced away from Clarke, knowing what was coming. This was the worst time.

'You always help us but you just vanished.'

Raven looked back to Clarke with a grim expression.

'It won't make much sense.' Raven warned.

'It's not over yet, is it?' Clarke asked grimly.

Raven shook her head slowly.

'Is this why Jackson is missing?' Clarke asked and Raven knew the look she was giving her was enough of a confirmation when Clarke's eyes began to burn with curiosity.

'Clarke,' Raven started warily.

'What?' Clarke asked, with dread.

'How many Nightbloods did Lexa bring with her?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Short chapter but I'm hoping to be able to update a fair bit this week *fingers crossed my workload doesn't give me any nasty surprises*. 
> 
> I did want to just make a quick note though, at the risk of potential spoilers. For those of you who haven't read any of my works before I do get quite dark (and those who have read my stuff will know it's because I'm just pure evil). However, in anything I write (including this fic) there will never be the death trope. If a LGBTQ character does die then it will be done in a way where death doesn't actually matter. Whether this is by a sci fi twist, reincarnation, challenging what death actually is, an afterlife or whatever. If death happens then it won't be as it is usually represented. The character will continue in the story happily (and Clexa will always find a way to be together no matter what) and at they will continue to be in the vast majority of chapters from that point on. 
> 
> I could avoid death all together, and in most stories I do. Sometimes I like to tackle it though, not just because death is a good topic to explore but because JRoth had a point about one thing: everyone dies at some point. JRoth made the biggest mistake by the way he did it. He targeted the lesbian because it was easy and he was led by queerbaiting. The way death was presented was a trope. Writers though should be able to do better than that so if all characters are at risk then it should be done in a better way. Lexa didn't have to die...but if they chose to make her die then it could have been done in a 1000 different ways so that it didn't matter. It is a sci fi show after all. If scifi has ever sought to tackle anything then it has been death. Death doesn't need to be forever in a sci fi story, it doesn't have to be sad, it doesn't have to stop love or separate it. Sci fi can mean you can try just about anything. There's always the possibility of getting rid of death all together and going with immortality. 
> 
> Obviously, I don't want to spoil this plot but hopefully it'll reassure people who have been worried, Clexa are safe, in this life or the next. They'll be in every chapter and as powerful as ever.


	14. Fate Awaiting

The door creaked open and Clarke couldn't suppress a sigh of annoyance.

'Give us a minute.' Clarke demanded.

'Clarke, your blood pressure cannot be sustained-'

'I just need a minute!' Clarke shouted at her mother.

Abbey looked between Clarke an Raven with a mixture of consternation and concern.

'In private.' Clarke emphasised.

Abbey's mouth dropped open but a second later Clarke heard the door slam behind her and she turned to Raven.

'Lexa can't have an-an'

'AI.' Raven finished when Clarke struggled to recall the term.

'She can't.' Clarke insisted stubbornly.

She was sure Lexa would have said something. Lexa didn't seem at all different to anybody else but from what Raven had said, those who had taken this other chip were all already lost from this life...and themselves. Lexa wasn't like that.

'She does.'

'But how do you-'

'Once a person takes the chip they are in ALIE's network. Everyone is connected.' Raven explained. 'When Jaha made his journey back he convinced grounders to take the chip.'  
'And they told her enough?' Clarke asked, horrified.

'They didn't need to tell her anything.' Raven told her. 'She had access to all of their thoughts, all of their memories...as soon as the first grounder took the chip ALIE would have known all about the fact that only people with black blood would have been able to become commander. How do you think I know it?'

It was true: Clarke had never discussed the black blood with Raven. She'd never had a chance to and she hadn't talked about it with anyone else on either of her visits to Arkadia.

'And where else would black blood have come from except this first Commander?' Clarke muttered to herself.

The knowledge of the black blood alone would have been a trail to the first commander's plans and therefore the ambitions of ALIE. She knew her creator wouldn't stop, not after ruining the world. She would want to try to fix it. Clarke was sure she'd have done just about anything to try to make it right.

'Becca.' Raven clarified.

'But you found a way to break the connection.' Clarke said slowly. 'With the EMP.'

'We don't have enough wrist bands.' Raven said, knowing where Clarke was heading. 'They will all be on their way to Polis to take the Nightbloods.'

'So they can kill Lexa and still take the Flame if she doesn't go with their plan?'

'Yes.' Raven nodded. 'ALIE's scheme failed. As soon as Lexa stormed the gates, there was chaos and no one could get close to her without being killed. When Lexa killed Jaha, they all began to make their escape.'

'But they aren't really dead?'

Raven had said the City of Light had tried to subvert death; if that was true then perhaps they could use it to their advantage. They fought every day to survive but what if they could make it so death didn't have to be something they were afraid of?

'They are gone.' Raven replied. 'At least from here.'

Clarke's brow furrowed as she was lost in thought. They had to find a way to destroy ALIE but potentially keep the City of Light. Clarke was sure there was more to it though than ALIE had even let Raven see.

'How did Jasper know to cut it out?' Clarke asked after a minute.

'I warned him before that there might be some remnants under the skin. I thought it might need complete removal for me to come back to this life- disconnected.'

The door banged off the wall as Abbey charged in, looking murderous and both Raven and Clarke jumped with a start.

'Clarke-'

'Fine.' Clarke snapped.

Raven looked devastated and Clarke offered her a small smile for telling her all of this. She needed Raven to know that none of this was her fault. Clarke couldn't quite believe how far Raven had been pushed. She'd be strong throughout everything. If Raven had taken the chip, it was easy to believe that hundreds, perhaps even thousands of others would and there was little they could do to stop it.

Abbey pulled the trolley full of surgical equipment round and Clarke felt her heart rate pick up. She was running out of time.

'Raven,' Clarke started firmly, 'trust Lexa.'

'Clarke?'

Clarke swallowed as her mother picked up the reaper stick.

'If I don't make it- trust Lexa.' Clarke insisted. 'She will know what to do. She'll look after Skaikru.'

'Clarke,'

Clarke turned to face her mother, whose face was drawn.

'It's time.'

Clarke shut her eyes briefly. When she opened them again she made sure to give her mother a look of acceptance before she slowly nodded. Abbey's hand reached forward and Clarke felt a scratch as the reaper stick was pressed to her neck and the ground turned to black.

* * *

 

Lexa stepped into the engineering room with Murphy. He shut the door behind them and she had to admit, he looked worse for wear.

'Clarke and I haven't had the best twenty four hours.' Murphy drawled, noticing Lexa's gaze.

Lexa inclined her head slightly in agreement. She knew why he had brought Clarke up; it was a reminder that he was hers. Murphy still felt the need to protect himself and Lexa understood why.

'I need you to explain why Titus took you.'

Murphy gave her a slow smirk. He titled his head slightly as though calculating just which way to proceed and what he believe.

'I was taken for carrying a chip that had your mark.'

'So Titus kept you and tortured you for information?'

Murphy nodded.

Lexa took in his battered and weary features. Their ways were harsh and Titus acted in her best interests...or so he had thought but he would have known she would not have wanted this, which she assumed was precisely why he had not informed her of the development.

'You don't trust him, do you?'

'He did just shoot Clarke.' Lexa reminded him.

'You have to kill him.'

Lexa stiffened. She did not wish to be given orders from Skaikru. She wanted to be rid of any threat to Clarke but if she broke jus no drein jus daun then all of their futures would be threatened.

'He's too dangerous to you.' Murphy said quickly. 'Someone wants you and he'll go with it. He believes in all that crap about faith and destiny. They'll manipulate him.'  
'Who?' Lexa asked quickly.

Murphy looked away and wiped his face on his sleeve before he looked up at her again.

'You've got a bigger war on your hands than you know.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for kudos and comments! So everything besides ALIE wanting the Flame to upgrade is going to be my story from now on. I did the close canon thing but with living Lexa back with my last fic so this is going to go in a completely different direction.


	15. What Makes a Leader

Clarke woke groggily to see her mother, with her hands in her head, half asleep where she sat on a stool by the bed. There was no one else around and Clarke wondered what the others were doing; whether Lexa was already working with Raven on this new problem, what Murphy was doing, how Octavia was dealing with Bellamy...

She stifled a groan. A small part of her missed the slumber she had just awoken from. She was thrust into the midst of yet another fight and she had little idea of how to tackle it. Raven was the genius, not her. How could you fight a force that everyone was willingly flocking to? They'd made their choice.

Abbey jumped awake and glanced to Clarke, her face turning instantly from fear to a tenderness Clarke was sure she hadn't seen in quite a long time.

'How are you feeling?'

'Fine.' Clarke answered automatically; her back was still aching but it was nothing like before. 'Where is everyone?'

Abbey's eyes narrowed for a moment and she shook her head, confused.

'Who?'

Clarke rolled her eyes.

'I don't know...Bellamy, Lexa, Kane...anyone.'

Abbey sat up straighter and gave Clarke a scrutinising look.

'Which one?' She asked in a low voice, as though issuing a challenge.

'Which one what?' Clarke snapped.

'Who do you want to see first, Clarke?' Abbey asked, her voice flat.

Clarke avoided her mother's gaze. She wasn't ready for this conversation at all. She wasn't sure her mother even deserved to hear it.

They had both let each other down, they both disappointed each other so perhaps it was more fitting to say that at this point they were stuck with each other. It was hardly the ideal relationship based on love and respect. In her heart, she wasn't really sure what her mother felt towards her at all. How her mother looked at her after the events of TonDC had stayed with her. She saw it every night in her nightmares. And she had lied. She hadn't tried to be the good guy. She just wanted to save her friends. When she had shot Dante, she'd wanted to weep for herself but a small part had revealed in the revenge: she had ended the man who had tempted Lexa, who had made sure she would wear the burden alone. If she had to carry that burden, she was glad to carry Dante's death too. She hadn't actively wanted it, but she had not wanted to walk away from it all either.

'Lexa.' Clarke said finally, finally meeting her mother's eyes. 'I need to see Lexa first.'

Abbey stared at Clarke for a second, her eyes searching back and forth but Clarke remained impassive. Her mother finally stood up and walked out of the door leaving her alone. Clarke let out a sigh but she soon grabbed the edges of the bed and pulled herself up, slowly swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

She gasped, gingerly at each movement. Abbey had the sense to leave one of her old shirts on the stool, as hers had been cut away in the surgery. Clarke reached out and pulled the grey top over the head. It was a slow process, and she was only just pulling it down over her stomach when Lexa walked in.

'Where the hell have you been?' Clarke demanded and to her incredulity, Lexa for a small second, gave a soft smile.

'Talking with Raven...apparently you sent her to me.' Lexa replied gently and Clarke nodded, already annoyed at her own outburst. 'How are you?'

Lexa walked round the room to stand in front of Clarke, she pushed the stood aside with her hip so it rolled out of the way.

'Did she tell you everything?' Clarke asked, in a small voice.

She looked up in awe at Lexa. Her face had been washed clean but she was still in her Commander's outfit and she still had one blade with her. Clarke couldn't blame her for not quite trusting peace yet; after Titus, she wondered how soon Lexa would be to trust again.

Lexa nodded.

'And you?'

'Yes.' Clarke said pointedly.

'Clarke, I-'

'Never thought I needed to know about the AI?' Clarke asked quickly.

Lexa's eyes widened slightly but it was not out of fear. Clarke knew she was simply caught off guard that Clarke would think she had needed to know. Lexa was infuriating, and being able to read her was even more vexing. She really was not as mysterious as many in Skaikru made out, Clarke thought indignantly.

'That's not how I know of it. We call it the Flame.' Lexa replied. 'And no; when would it have been relevant?'

'Having a computer in your head might have been useful when we were fighting the Mountain Men.' Clarke muttered furiously.

'Clarke,' Lexa cut across gently, but Clarke could not look at her, 'just ask me.'

Clarke jaw twitched in annoyance. She didn't want to give this up yet. She didn't want the words to be taken from her. They'd still not discussed anything. Titus had shot her and they'd gotten into another war.

'Clarke,'

She closed her eyes slowly at the sound of her name, nee fore opening them again and looking to Lexa finally.

'Are you still...you?' Clarke asked hopelessly.

'Yes, Clarke.' Lexa smiled fully. 'I'm still me.'

'But how?' Clarke asked, confused.

'The Flame is passed down from commander to commander-'

'I know.' Clarke sighed. 'I figured it out. Raven told me enough.'

Lexa nodded, understanding.

'The Flame has not altered by personality. It cannot make a commander good or fair. If Ontari or Nia had taken the Flame, they would not be able to become good leaders. Their personality would still dominate.'

Clarke nodded slowly, but she was still confused.

'Is that why Aden is your favourite?'

Lexa nodded, but she rubbed her temple and for the first time Clarke realised how tired Lexa looked. She wondered if Lexa had been able to rest at all after the battle.

'Aden has all the virtues of a good commander.' Lexa replied. 'It's why we teach them-'

'The pillars.' Clarke said, remembering.

'Yes, we must teach them how to be good leaders. The Flame cannot give them that.'

At least Aden was still here. Lexa had brought him with her, as well as the other Nightbloods- all except Ontari, she realised, with utter dread.

'So what does the Flame do?' Clarke asked frowning; she'd worry about Ontari later.

'It enhances my perception.' Lexa replied, almost nonchalantly. 'I was always logical , but it has allowed me to make connections and come up with plans in a more organised way- I do not have to follow them however, that is my choice.'

Clarke thought she was beginning to understand but the concept of it did not provide much comfort. She felt as though they now weren't equal. She'd always thought of her and Lexa as in the same situation and that's why they understood each other so well, but now it felt as though Lexa had some sort of advantage over her. Her impulsive mistakes must have seemed ever more petulant than they ever were, at least to Lexa's mind.

'Do you see the City of Light?' Clarke asked eventually, although she wasn't sure how much she cared but she was certain it was a question she should at least ask.

'No.' Lexa replied. 'It seems to be the realm of ALIE, or so Raven has tried to explain.'

Clarke nodded and slowly tried to stand up. Lexa's reactions were like lightening. She dove forward but Clarke shrugged her off, stumbling round the bed.

'We have to get to work to stop this thing.' Clarke said.

'Clarke-'

'Don't.' Clarke warned. 'We have to do it. We don't have time to waste.'

'We need to talk.' Lexa said, in a voice that was much more like the Commander than Lexa.

Clarke shot her a furious glance at the tone.

'We need to get to work, Commander.' Clarke replied, in as much an even voice as she could but she faltered when Lexa's head titled questioningly at the use of her title.

'You failed the mention your plan included offering yourself as a sacrifice.' Lexa said, and Clarke felt her anger begin to brim.

'The things we've both failed to mention could fill a novel.' Clarke retorted.

Clarke looked away again. Everything Raven had said about taking the chip had seemed horrible. Raven had given herself up entirely. She'd allowed ALIE to strip her emotions and memories...but Lexa wasn't a part of ALIE and ALIE wasn't a part of Lexa. At least, that's what Raven and Lexa both seemed to think.

They'd spent so much time arguing, so much time locked in some battle of wills that now they were alone and Lexa wanted to talk about them, she didn't know what to say. She was so used to running but she was sick of it, and she didn't want to run from Lexa again- but she knew she couldn't survive another betrayal. This new element and the new world it was forcing upon them had completely thrown her and for the first time since perhaps they had landed on the ground, she didn't know what to do.

'You were tortured, Clarke.' Lexa said softly and when Clarke met Lexa's eyes, she saw the tears that were lacing them.

'I'm fine.' Clarke replied, but it was much less an automatic response than when she had addressed her mother.

'I heard it.'

Clarke swallowed her own tears. Lexa made no move towards her and Clarke hesitated, deciding to stay rooted to where she stood.

'I am sorry.' Clarke said sincerely. 'I had to.'

'No, you didn't.' Lexa emphasised quietly.

'They were my people. I had to do whatever it took.' Clarke replied.

'They were my people too.' Lexa replied. 'I never gave up on the vow.'

'Neither did I.' Clarke insisted. 'I believed in the Coalition. It's why I came back.'

Lexa eyes were clouded with conflict. Clarke resisted once more the urge to step forward and try to comfort her. They had to figure out some sort of plan to deal with everything that was coming. Raven said that they would have some time; ALIE wouldn't come back when Arkadia had a grounder army and Skaikru and so she'd have to work on a new plan. They didn't have any idea of knowing how long it would take ALIE though.

'Now you know what it's like.' Clarke said quietly, with a small smile. 'I couldn't do anything when you fought Roan.'

It was true; as much as she had hated to admit it that day had been one of the hardest she'd endured on the earth.

'Was this punishment?' Lexa asked, confused.

'No,' Clarke said, with a tender smile; Lexa looked incredibly vulnerable, 'this was what leaders do. We risk ourselves for our people. We trust in our allies to come through. We do what we can. You taught me that.'

'You were already a leader, Clarke.'

'No,' Clarke shook her head, 'but maybe we can both try to lead them now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) thank you for reading and for comments and kudos.
> 
> I just want to clear a quick bit up (I'm sleep deprived to say the least so if this a ramble then ignore it). Clarke's injuries were never going to result in paralysis. She struggled to move her legs because she struggled to move at all but that was due to repeated trauma to the back. It was pain. It was never going to be long term. It's just if you hurt your back (as I'm sure many of you know) it really fucking hurts to move at all. Clarke was just exhausted, in agony and was facing dropping blood pressure. Her legs would have worked no matter what, just that she couldn't use them right at that point because any movement was agony. I'm really sorry if I wasn't clear. I'll go back and take a look at editing it if people are confused. Blame it on very severe sleep deprivation during the last week :P


	16. Battle of Wills

Clarke made her way through the crowd as Lexa stood on a raised platform, holding the torch high.

'Yu gonplei ste odon'

The torch was pressed against the tower of wood in front of Lexa where the bodies of the fallen grounders and the allied dead of Skaikru had been placed, ready to meet peace by the flames. Lexa's eyes were fixed on the platform as flames engulfed it.

Hopelessness consumed Clarke. The loss of life had been overwhelming. Perhaps if she had returned earlier, or maybe she should never have left...

'Wanheda,' Aden spoke up from beside her, 'I'm glad you're okay.'

Clarke offered him a small smile.

'You too.' Clarke said, nudging him playfully. 'You are Lexa's favourite after all.'

Aden shook his head, with an honest smile.

'Heda loves us all. She would give her life to protect any of us.'

Clarke's eyes roamed back to Lexa, whose eyes were still fixed on the flames. Clarke gave a small nod, swallowing her emotions.

'Let's hope it never gets to that point.'

'We must be ready for whatever fate awaits us.'

Clarke gave a barely there laugh. Lexa had trained him well, she had to admit. Clarke kept her eyes away from her friends. She could feel them glancing to her as the flames grew stronger. A thin layer of sweat began to seep under her clothes and she knew Bellamy was staring at her from across the other side of the platform. She had no answers for him. She dreaded what Lexa would decide, and what she would have to come up with again.

It was a long while before the flames began to lose their power. The crowds started to thin as people went back to work; whether to take care of the injured or to get Arkadia back to what it once was.

Aden, however, stayed by Clarke's side. She was grateful for his presence. He admired Lexa for who she was. She felt as though he was probably the only one who saw Lexa the same way that she did. Titus had his own agenda he tried to force on Lexa and her people had their own expectations.

Clarke heard Lexa's approach and she slowly turned her head to see Lexa stop a few feet from her. Clarke looked back to the burned black embers that had been left. She wondered vaguely, what had happened to Finn's ashes.

'We need Aden, Murphy, Raven, Octavia, Indra, Lincoln, Kane, my mother, Sinclair, Jasper, Monty, Miller, Harper...' Clarke paused briefly, her lips tight, '...and Bellamy.'

Lexa nodded, her eyes giving nothing away of any potential annoyance at Bellamy's inclusion.

Clarke turned and headed inside. She made her way to what was being used as a council room and shut the door behind her. She gave a shaky breath, and groaned as she rolled her shoulder. She was sure the one thing she needed was a rest and that was the last thing she was about to get. She didn't even feel this worn out after she had woken in Mount Weather.

The door creaked loudly open and the people Clarke requested made their way in. Bellamy was first and he shot her a questioning look but Clarke stepped back and shook her head. He was followed by Miller, Harper, Monty and Jasper. Octavia and Lincoln were next, and she gave her brother a look full of venom. Raven limped into the room, followed by Abbey, Sinclair, Indra, Kane and a very bloody and bruised Murphy. Lexa and Aden were the last to enter, and the reaction to their presence was mixed with awe and distrust. Clarke was not amused to see the latter reaction upon her mother's face.

Clarke took a deep breath and launched into an edited version of the explanation of ALIE. Every so often she faltered and looked to Raven to help her to explain the issues around the chip. Raven too was keen to press that ALIE would want Lexa, and that she believed the Flame was the secret to upgrading.

'So why don't we give her to ALIE?' Bellamy grunted.

'What have you become?' Octavia demanded.

'If we're going to die-'

'ALIE has already shown she has no limits. Do you really want to give something like that the power of the Flame?' Clarke asked, horrified.

Bellamy's eyes flicked to Lexa and she knew exactly what he was thinking; he hated and distrusted Lexa and he might entertain ALIE having the Flame has a better scenario than Lexa possessing it.

'How can we fight something like this?' Kane asked.

'I think through the City of Light.' Raven answered instantly, clearly relieved to move on from Bellamy and Octavia's squabbles. 'She has to have some weakness.'

'We can't let Lexa take the chip until we know what that is.' Clarke pressed.

'Agreed.' Lexa said. 'Handing ALIE the Flame before we know how to finish her would be suicidal.'

'Then how the hell do we find out her weakness?' Miller asked.

'Someone else takes the chip.' Lexa responded, looking uneasily to Clarke.

Clarke didn't waver but nodded to Lexa. She was sure of this plan before she had even woken up in medical. She had known it since talking to Raven really, but Lexa looked even more conflicted than with Clarke's plan to take down Pike.

'Do we draw straws to see who joins the undead?' Jasper joked bitterly.

'No,' Clarke said, 'I'm doing it.'

'Clarke-' Her mother started, frightened but it was Jasper who cut her off.

'Of course you are.' He muttered.

'Clarke, this thing takes over people's minds.' Murphy reminded her.

'I know.' She said, meeting his eye, 'but when people give their minds to them.'

She turned to a confused looking Raven, with the same certainty that had consumed her when they had come up with the plan for a ring of fire.

'You said ALIE needs permission to take over people's minds. People have to choose to give her their free will but what if I don't?' Clarke asked. 'What I take the chip but I don't give her my mind?'

Raven looked at her in alarm.

'She'd try to break you, Clarke.'

'She can try.' Clarke challenged.

'Clarke, this plan-'

'Mom, I have to.' Clarke urged. 'Lexa can't take it and I've shown that I won't break. You all have something to lose, you all have a weakness. I don't.'

Clarke resisted looking to Lexa. Lexa was immune by the Flame. Lexa couldn't be hurt. Even if ALIE summoned her army now, Lexa was the only one that would be guaranteed not to be murdered. They were all expendable and she knew what war meant. She'd never stop until she won.

'So we get our own spy?' Bellamy asked, but there was an impressed glint in his eye.

'You don't need to do this.' Lincoln said kindly.

'Yes, I do.'

'This is- Octavia started but Raven cut her off.

'She's here with us.' Raven offered. 'We'll help her through it.'

'Then we've decided.' Clarke said.

Bellamy opened his mouth to agree but Clarke turned to face Lexa.

'Then let us finish this.' Lexa said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks as ever for comments and kudos :) I'm so sorry about the slow update but I've been sick all week. Hope you're all having a good Halloween weekend!


	17. Passing the Flame

The Trikru Warriors quickly put Arkadia back together again and ensured that the doors remained closed. They weren't sure what awaited them. ALIE and her followers had left but Lexa was not prepared to take any chances, should they decide to return. She was keen, however, to get to Luna. Clarke was focused upon what lay ahead with the chip but it felt reckless for them to leave Luna vulnerable without any knowledge.

There were two Nightbloods from Lexa's generation that could mount a significant challenge to the title of Commander. Lexa had known this when she had spared both Ontari and Luna but they were calculated risks, and she had not felt their bloodshed would have been just. They were decisions she did not regret but now, they were possibilities for ALIE. They could be targets and ALIE had shown she would break people any way she could.

Her unease over the plan grew, as she knew what this might hold in store for Clarke. Clarke was set on the plan and Lexa agreed that it was their best way forward, but she wished they had any other way. While Clarke would take the chip, she was to work with Raven to try to find a way of utilising the Flame in this fight. It seemed ridiculous to both she and Raven that the first commander would not have provided the Flame with some defences. Bekka Pramheda had known of ALIE; she created her. She knew the flaws and the ambition that lay there and so leaving the Flame vulnerable to be simply taken would have been folly. There had to be a way forward, and Raven was sure she could find it.

'Heda,' Aden said, breaking Lexa's thoughts.

She turned slowly to greet him as he looked up eagerly at her. The Trikru Warriors were still working away at the grounds as she surveyed them, while Skaikru worked to get the settlement back on its feet. If they left for Luna, they would not be able to take everyone. Travelling in so large a group would give away their plans and position instantly and so she had to make sure they were prepared and had sufficient defences in place.

'What is it, Aden?' Lexa asked.

'Wanheda is ready.'

Lexa nodded and Aden began to turn but Lexa called out for him and he quickly was smiling at her, ready to help. Working with the Nightbloods had always been the hardest part of her duty. She knew what they were destined for. She and Titus has raised them to be able to slaughter each other. When she had first become Heda, she was haunted by what she had faced on Ascension Day and training the young Nightbloods had been incredibly difficult. All she saw was what awaited them. She had eventually learned to remove her own emotions from the tasks at hand of training the future. Her duty to her people had to come first.

'Aden, our people are still not safe.' Lexa started.

'Under your command they will be.' Aden said confidently.

Lexa studied Aden, knowing she must choose her words carefully.

'Aden, there may come a time when my life is threatened.' Lexa said slowly. 'We face a new threat that will test all of our ways. Will you follow your Heda?'

'Of course.' Aden insisted.

'Even if I call upon you to break our traditions?'

'What do you mean?' Aden asked, confused. 'Why would you?'

Aden looked horrified for a moment at questioning her but Lexa's lips twitched slightly into a smile. Aden instantly relaxed, knowing he was not to be scolded for his boldness at questioning his Commander.

Aden always wanted to serve his people. He'd been the most keen of the Nightbloods. Lexa had regretted it when she had first met him; he would prove a devoted and honorable commander but she wished that none of this would ever fall to him.

'This new threat can take charge of minds. Nobody is safe but it wants the Flame.' Lexa explained. 'To protect our people, the Flame must be protected above and beyond anything or anyone else. Do you understand?'

'Yes.' Aden said slowly, but his eyes reflected a deep conflict; he understood what was coming.

'You must stay close through this.'

'I will.' Aden vowed.

'But you must protect yourself.'

'I will do my duty to our people, Heda.' Aden promised earnestly.

'Even if it means leaving others to die.' Lexa emphasised.

She watched as Aden hesitated. He nodded, but Lexa hoped it had not cost all of his strength to do so when she had one last request to make.

'And if my own allegiance is threatened - if ALIE may control me - or if my life is put in danger, then you must save the Flame-'

'Heda-'

'Even if the price is my life.' Lexa finished.

Aden looked crushed. His eyes glistened and he looked away. Lexa smiled softly down an placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He finally looked up at her, the resentment in his eyes softening albeit only slightly.

'Aden, having black blood is a burden few can imagine but you have the power to save our people. My life cannot matter more than all of theirs.' Lexa told him quietly.

'But you're-'

'Just one person.' Lexa said, cutting him off again. 'And one that has serve her people, and only wants to see them live in peace. Would you deny my wishes? If I was destined to fall under the control of ALIE would you allow me to become her plaything?'

'But Raven was saved.'

'If I fall to ALIE while I hold the Flame then there is no coming back for anyone.' Lexa said.

A tear rolled down Aden's cheek and Lexa stood up straight again, brushing it away for him.

'Death is not the end, Aden.' Lexa replied. 'Do not spend your life in fear of something that must pass over us all.'

'But you...' Aden's voice faltered, clearly nervous, 'you couldn't stand it after Costia's death.'

Lexa smiled proudly at Aden.

'The pain was great.' She admitted. 'It was a tribute to a great love. In that misery, I wanted to never hurt again but I was wrong. Now I would be proud to die shattered because I loved with all my heart and served our people to the end.

'I listened to Clarke's torture. There I was again...only I had to hear it.'

'But your love was worth it?' Aden asked.

Everyone in Polis had seen her love for Clarke. It wasn't something she had even tried to hide. She was proud of it. The only care she took was out of respect to Clarke. Aden had watched on that day when she had dueled Roan and he had witnessed the power behind their emotions for one another, even though neither were ready to admit it.

'It's always been worth it.' Lexa answered. 'Remember what matters, Aden, and you will be able to do your duty.'

Aden nodded again, his eyes blazing with determination but he swallowed tightly. Lexa knew what she might be asking him but none of them knew if they could even afford hope at this point. They had to be prepared for the worst, as ALIE was sure to try to bring it upon them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the slightly slower update again but I'm still not 100% well (although I'm definitely getting there). Hope you enjoy the chapter :)
> 
> Also, if you have any stand alone scenes you'd like writing (say a friendship scene with Murphy and Anya, Indra and Lexa arguing or whatever) as a one shot fic then let me know. I'm happy to carry out any requests and they really don't take long to write. Open to any and all requests. 
> 
> Is anyone doing NaNoWriMo btw? How are you all finding it?


	18. Trapped to Memories

Clarke paced the engineering room nervously, holding the chip in her hand and waiting for the others to arrive. Raven was sat at the bench watching her, with a look of encouragement mingled with worry. It was not helping.

'Raven, if I can't stop her-'

'We'll bring you back.' Raven said. 'We can build an EMP. We just need another wristband...Jasper knows how to do it too now and your mom understands.'

Clarke nodded, her thoughts drawn to a place she had fled to in her grief.

'There's a place where there's a wristband.' Clarke said and Raven's eyes widened. 'It's in Trikru. Bellamy will know where it is. When he was looking for me, he found an outpost. It's there.'

'Do you want to go there first?'

'No.' Clarke said quickly. 'We've just reinforced this place. ALIE could have had a thousand people chipped by the time we get there. Half of our people are gone...they've even got Jackson. If we need it just send one person there, that won't get any attention.'

Raven nodded, determined.

'But if you think you can't-'

'Clarke, you'll be fine.' Raven asserted.

'If I risk anyone here you have to-'

'We're not doing anything.' Raven cut across again. 'You'll be fine. We can't lose you too.'

Clarke didn't get the chance to press her point as the door to engineering opened and Bellamy, Abbey, Octavia, Lincoln, Murphy, Sinclair, Kane and Lexa made their way in. Abbey looked around in alarm and Clarke worried that she'd put up another fight against the plan but Kane stepped closer to her mother and took her hand in his.

Lexa's eyes were fixed upon her and Clarke gave a weak smile when she met that blazing green gaze.

'Where's Aden?' Clarke asked.

'With Indra.' Lexa answered.

'We might as well get this started then.' Clarke began, trying to stop her voice from shaking but she knew how scared she was. 'Raven and Sinclair...just be ready.'

'We are.' Raven promised.

'Okay then.' Clarke said, looking down at her hand.

She'd forgotten that she was even holding the chip she was supposed to take. Her hand had been balled so tightly into a fist that the edge of the chip had drawn blood against the palm of her hand.

She recalled a time when Lexa had said one of her plans was nothing more than a prayer and this too felt like it. She was putting her faith in a huge gamble and she didn't know if she'd even be able to find a way to bring down ALIE, but it was the only chance they had. Yet, the risk of surrendering her mind was more frightening than anything she had yet faced. She'd always had to trust herself and her own instincts but this may wipe all of that out.

'We're here.' Lexa said softly, and Clarke looked up at her in surprise and found the comfort she needed in that gaze.

Clarke released a shaky breath and smiled at Lexa.

'Clarke,' Bellamy said gruffly, 'we can find another way.'

Clarke turned to him, her face strained.

'There is no other way.'

Clarke raised her fingers quickly to her mouth and slipped the chip between her lips. She swallowed harshly and looked back to Lexa, fearful.

Clarke's legs buckled and she slammed into the floor but she was hardly aware as her mind was locked into the memories that assaulted her.

_The smell of Finn's sweat and blood invaded her nostrils. His head hung against her shoulder and she grimaced as she pulled away from him, revealing the pouring blood from his abdomen. There was a broken scream in the distance and Clarke watched as Raven fell to the floor in grief._

_'Submit, Clarke.' ALIE's voice gently broke over the scene._

_'No.' Clarke denied her coldly; she had expected this._

_Anya whispered that her fight was over but Clarke didn't understand. She could only decipher the death that hung to her eyes and all hope of an alliance was gone. Her friends were left in the mountain._

'Clarke!'

_Smoke gripped her now as she watched the ruins of TonDC. All those people died and she couldn't stop them. There was a bang and the Mountain Man fell to the floor and an injured Lincoln smiled at her, even though she had shot him but now Lincoln was tied up in the drop ship. The stench of burning flesh made her gag as Raven pressed the wires to his chest and he twitched in agony._

'Hold her steady, Commander!'

_Her father gave a broken smile as the doors shut. He closed his eyes, steeling himself and in a flash the airlock opened and he was flung into the starry galaxy and out of sight. Clarke howled in grief, anguish ripping through her as she apologised over and over to her mother, as guilt of her father's death gripped her._

_'Clarke, it is pointless to resist me.' ALIE urged. 'I can take away all of your pain.'_

_She realised: it was her mother. Her mother killed her father. All of this time, and now she had lost her mother too. Her mother had betrayed them both. She was going to be executed in that skybox and her mother had caused it all._

_'Go to hell.' Clarke spat at ALIE._

'Clarke, it's okay! You're okay, Clarke. You're safe in Arkadia with us!'

_She watched as hundreds of people crumpled to the floor, their faces burning with bursting blisters. A boy screamed in agony on the screen but his father couldn't get to him, before he fell to death too, clutching a soccer ball they had been playing with._

_Jasper clung to Maya as life slipped away from her and grief swept through Clarke. She heard herself say to get their people but as she turned to leave she retched. Bellamy's arms grabbed her but there was no vomit. She felt a violent kick in her gut again but nothing came up. She shook as she pushed herself up from the bench she held onto and shook her head at Bellamy, begging him not to speak._

_She pushed herself forwards through the corridors and onto level five. The dead lay scattered in the hall and Clarke felt a wild terror that they were pretending, that she and her friends weren't safe at all, but as she approached Jasper she knew that it was true. Maya would not leave him. Relief and guilt crashed through her and she flinched at the hatred in Jasper's eyes._

'I can't-' Clarke gasped.

'Clarke, just hold on.'

_'I can give you the worst of you.' ALIE chimed._

_And now Lexa was walking away with Clarke begging her to stay. Anger at Dante ravaged her as he told her about the deal and there was a small flicker of bitter satisfaction as he fell to the ground dead. She left her people, and now she was living in the wild as Wanheda fighting panthers for her life, a secret hope that it would just reach out for her neck._

_She was with Niylah, desperate, alone and angry and she wanted to hurt Lexa and to forget her. She wanted to cut her heart right out just so she could never feel anything for Lexa again._

_She was holding a knife to Lexa's throat, too weak to do it. A day later, fighting for Lexa's life when Lexa was ready to risk death and leave her. Panic pounded through her heart as she saw the slaughtered army and Lexa called for war._

_'Your shame Clarke...the love that made you weak, that left you alone and a mass murderer.'_

_'No,' Clarke cried, 'it's strength.'_

'Clarke, you can fight this.'

_'Your friend Raven gave me herself...I still hold her memories. She hated you for killing Finn...' ALIE said._

_Clarke's face slammed back as Raven's fist connected with her._

_'You're the only murderer here!'_

_She was in Lexa's tent desperately trying to scrape the blood off her hands. She couldn't. She didn't have any other choice. She'd tried to save him. She would have died fighting grounders to save him._

_'Clarke,' ALIE said, 'I can give you her memories too.'_

_Clarke's head flicked around as she was tied to the bed, but her hands were darker and she was wearing a red jacket._

_'No!'_

'This could kill her!'

'We have to do something!'

_The screech of the drill rattled through her core and she watched as it dipped down. Clarke released a piercing screen as the Mountain Men drilled into her._

_'It doesn't matter what you do!' Clarke gasped. 'I will never break for you. I will never betray my friends! My mind will never be yours!'_

_Pain gripped her and Clarke was thrown back onto to the bed. Nausea crashed over her and she rolled over but once more nothing was released. The pain in her side was gone and when she rolled over she was on the ground again. Her hands were her own, her clothes were her own._

_Her breathing was ragged but she stood up slowly, not recalling this memory. A twig snapped under her foot and she looked around but the only light there was came from the stars themselves. ALIE had left her, but she had not returned to life in Arkadia and this was definitely not the City of Lights._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for any kudos and reviews! I'm sorry this is so late up but I've been swamped with work, both freelance wise and uni. Thank you for your patience though and hope you're all having a good weekend :)


	19. For Her People

Lexa grabbed Clarke before her head hit the floor. Clarke didn't even flinch at the drop, her eyes tightly shut. Raven ran to the large screen and began to try to decipher what was going on. Bellamy and Abbey were quickly on their knees beside Clarke while Octavia watched in horror, pacing anxiously. Clarke let out a wince of pain and within seconds Jasper and Monty were pushing their way into the room, clearly having been listening outside.

'Glad you could bring yourself to help.' Raven scolded, over her shoulder upon seeing them and Monty gave Jasper an accusing look.

'I said you'd need him when you understood the EMP.' Monty rebuked but Jasper spun of his heel and marched over to where Octavia was pacing nervously.

Jasper's hand scratched his head and he looked tormented as Clarke battled far away from them all.

'I'm here, okay?'  
  
Lexa's hand brushed Clarke's hair out of her face and she could feel the beads of sweat from Clarke's face clinging to her finger tips. Clarke was groaning and fidgeting relentlessly. Lexa tried to grip her as hard as possible but she paled when Clarke muttered at ALIE in defiance.   
  
ALIE was using all of Clarke's pain against her. Lexa stared in anguish at Clarke's face that was contorted in pain, fear and rage. Her eyes were jammed shut. Clarke was fighting a thousand demons in another world and Lexa could do nothing. ALIE was free to use all of the horrors Clarke had been through against her. All of those sacrifices that had been demanded of Clarke she would once more have to live through.

Lexa shut her eyes briefly and tried to search the Flame but there was no sign the City of Light or of Clarke. Lexa wondered if the two were designed to merge as she opened her eyes. If she took a chip then Clarke's suffering would stop, but then they would all be finished and there would be no hope for any of them. There was nothing she could do. She stooped low and whispered reassurances to Clarke and when she pulled back slightly, she was met with panic stricken looks from Bellamy and Abbey. They would bound together in reluctant unity on the outside of this battle.   
  
'Raven, what's going on?' Octavia said, glancing over at a squirming Clarke and Lexa's head snapped up and her eyes latched onto the back of Raven's red jacket as the mechanic frantically tried to work.   
  
'I don't know.' Raven said. 'I can't find her.'  
  
Lexa stared down at Clarke once more. Clarke was much paler now and her movements were much weaker. Lexa gripped Clarke's head as Clarke tried to fight off some force invisible to them all.   
  
Lexa, Abbey and Bellamy whispered reassurances to her as Clarke began to fade before their eyes. Clarke's body went stiff and began to jerk rigidity until she slumped. Lexa looked to Abbey, terrified but Abbey pushed her and Bellamy out of the way and began to press down on Clarke's chest just as she had done so many months ago with Lincoln.  
  
Sweat and tears rolled down Abbey's face and droplets stained the chest of Clarke's shirt as Abbey worked furiously to save Clarke. 

'You brought me back.' Lincoln said.

'What about the shock stick?' Octavia asked, alarmed.

'We don't know how it will react with the chip.' Sinclair explained, his hand covering his mouth as he watched on sadly.   
  
'We shouldn't have done this.' Bellamy muttered, his eyes finding Lexa but she was lost to him.

She was hardly aware of her own breathing as she prayed for Clarke to be able to be brought back to life.   
  
'Come on, Clarke.' Abbey muttered angrily. 'You don't get to stop. You don't ever stop.'  
  
Lexa blinked slowly, her eyes still only on Clarke. Clarke had been through so much just in the last few days. They had been so close to peace and now once more Lexa was watching and waiting to see whether Clarke would survive. Underneath Clarke's shirt, she knew the bullet hole from Titus was still painfully present. Clarke carried so many marks of trauma and war now, and she wore them all proudly, but Lexa had brought her here and to this moment. She could have stopped her. Clarke was dying for nothing.   
  
'I know what to do once Clarke gets in.' Raven said, and Bellamy looked at her incredulously.   
  
'Raven! Look at her!' Bellamy shouted, but Raven didn't turn around.  
  
'It's Clarke.' She responded confidently. 'She'll come back to us.'   
  
Bellamy exhaled loudly in disbelief.  
  
'I know how to get Lexa into the City.' Raven continued. 'Once Clarke gets back.'  
  
'Raven!' Bellamy bellowed, and Raven spun around.  
  
'She'll come back, Bellamy.' Raven said firmly.   
  
'She left before.' Jasper muttered in a terrified whisper, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of Clarke.   
  
Abbey continued to administer compressions and Lexa let the bickering of Skaikru fill the iron room. Clarke had always given everything to her people. Lexa had dragged her back into the fight...or at least sent Roan to drag her back into it. Clarke had just wanted to be left alone but her better nature, the ferocious will that ruled her, had meant that once she had returned she could never leave again. The dedication to the ones she loved had cost Clarke everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry again for the slow updates but all of my deadlines are in about two weeks so I'm working flat out. Due to the longer chapter lengths Polis won't be updated until I'm on my break (which is around the 16th). Apologies again!
> 
> Thank you though for any kudos and comments. I always appreciate your feedback and the time you take to read this thing :)


	20. Legacy

The stars bathed the forest in a light glow. Clarke breathed in the crisp night air and looked around. She knew these woods. None of Skaikru had spent as much time in them as she had. Even the darkness could not make her feel lost. She walked on, her boots cracking twigs and leaves crunched under her foot as she went with a sense of purpose. She knew where to go.  
  
As she carried on up a slight bank, her eyes widened at the sight of where the trees began clear. A young man was sitting, staring up at the stars with brown hair that was slightly shorter than when she had first met him. She glanced to her right at the entrance of the bunker, a thousand memories caressing her soul. It had been a long time.   
  
She took a nervous gulp, her mouth painfully dry. She had known to come here but she didn't know what was next. Her foot hovered forward but she retracted it, hesitant to step closer.   
  
The young man seemed to know and he turned, wearing that same easy smile.  
  
'Finn,' she breathed.  
  
'Come on, Clarke,' he called over, 'we might actually see a shooting star this time.'  
  
Clarke's mouth dropped open as Finn sat on the edge of the bank and turned back to gaze up at the canvas of the night sky. Her heart hammered against her rib cage but she had barely walked half a kilometre to get here. She'd let him die. She hadn't thought she'd seen him again, she hadn't wanted to...not after the visions of him that haunted her after his death.   
  
She wiped away the solitary tear and steeled herself, thinking of the people she had left behind. She needed answers.   
  
She stepped forward until she was next to him and lowered herself to the muddy ground. She scanned his face that was still tilted upwards but he chuckled at her, finally meeting her shocked gaze.  
  
'You never can stop...'  
  
'How are you here?' Clarke asked, stunned and not entirely confident that she was truly ready to know the answer.  
  
'I was here first, remember?'  

Finn had all that same confidence and graceful ease to him that he had possessed when she had first met him. She had envied him for that. The group had seen her as bringing everyone down when she was trying to keep them alive. It's why she had insisted to Finn so vehemently that she could, in fact, be fun. He could embrace happiness in a way she simply couldn't comprehend.   
  
'Then how am I here?' Clarke asked, impatient. 'Where are we?'  
  
'The art supply store, you know that.' Finn sighed, content.  
  
'I don't understand.' Clarke said quietly, pain flooding through her. 'You were gone.'  
  
Finn's lips twitched gently and there was a tenderness to his eyes.  
  
'Not gone, Clarke. I just wasn't there.' Finn said gently.  
  
'So ALIE killed me.' Clarke muttered bitterly.  
  
'They'll save you.' Finn told her reassuringly. 'Then you'll have to go back to the fight. They already have, really.'   
  
'If I'm going soon then explain.' Clarke urged, as realisation hit her and she never had any doubt that her people would do everything to try to save her. 'If you know anything -'

  
'You're here now.' Finn replied, clearly feeling no need to hurry up the conversation. 'There's no time here. You can't be dislodged. What happens, stays. Who did you want to see, Clarke?'  
  
Clarke could tell he knew the answer. A twinge of guilt rippled through her but he knew her too well and she couldn't help it. She'd wanted to see him so much.  
  
'My dad.'  
  
'So why do you think you ended up with me?'  
  
Clarke subconsciously glanced at the stars. They once were her home. It was strange to think of life on the Ark. She hadn't even been on the ground for one year yet but life felt so much more real. They were free but it had cost so much. Her father had tried to save them all, and the Ark, at all costs. He never got to see the ground...but maybe he would have wanted to find a way to stay. He loved the Ark. Going to Earth was her mother's idea.   
  
'He never came to the ground.'  
  
Finn nodded sadly.   
  
Clarke's eyes narrowed and she realised what her true fear was now. It had not been just facing Finn.  
  
'Are there others here?'  
  
'Yes,' Finn said, 'but don't worry. They're at peace. You have nothing to fear.'  
  
Clarke bit the inside of her mouth fighting tears. She had murdered an entire civilisation. Whole families had been wiped out because of her. She doubted that they would ever let her be. Now she was among the ghosts she had created.   
  
'So this is death...'  
  
'No,' Finn said, 'not exactly and it isn't for always, Clarke. This is just a place we have for when it's needed.'  
  
'But I thought whatever happened, stayed?'   
  
'It's complicated.' Finn laughed but Clarke frowned, which made Finn simply laugh harder.   
  
'Becca wasn't the first to try to extend humanity-'  
  
'How do you know-'  
  
'People have made it to the City of Light before and died. ALIE can't totally erase who someone is. When their bodies cease to work, their spirits are left.'  
  
'Spirits?' Clarke asked quickly.  
  
'It's just the way it's described.' Finn said, shrugging.   
  
'Is this connected to the Flame?'  
  
'No.' Finn shook his head. 'Becca became more thorough. There are no past commanders here. She must have found a way to lock in the commanders - they were her chosen ones, after all.'  
  


'Does that mean they can't come here at all?' Clarke asked, more baffled than ever at how to connect with Lexa and find a way to beat ALIE; she half expected ALIE to jump out from behind the trees or for her memories to torture her again but she felt much more in control in her heart than her head would allow.

'There could be a way.' Finn said. 'But Becca didn't design this reality. It's a harder boundary for her people to cross over.'

'So who did design it?' Clarke asked, but at this point she expected any questions to lead to more questions and fewer answers.

'People who knew us better than we knew ourselves,' Finn sighed. 'War was always coming. There was an arms race, Clarke. It was only going to end one way.'

Clarke knew well enough that this was true. Maybe Finn had been right; guns had been just the first step. As soon as they had armed they had been led to the path of war, but maybe without them they would never have had any chance at all. Clarke wasn't sure what was right anymore, and she wasn't even sure being right mattered.

'They couldn't undo the bombs. People would always want them for protection,' Finn said, sardonic, 'so some scientists found a way for when it would all end in failure.'

'Immortality.' Clarke breathed quickly.

The Flame would have given Lexa this. If all of the Commanders were held inside it then Lexa could never truly die so long as the Flame lived. Yet she had taken no such Flame and Finn had certainly never taken one of ALIE's chips.

'No,' Finn said firmly, 'this isn't for always and it isn't even all of us. This is our imprint. This is our legacy. We are held here until we are free.'

'I don't understand. You said there was no time-'

'And there isn't. It's about placement...it's about peace. It's complex, Clarke, but I stayed until I could see you again.'

'So you'll leave?' Clarke said, worried.

'No, you still need help.' Finn replied.

'So the dead just wait?'

'Our legacy isn't so easily forgotten;' Finn said, nudging her shoulder playfully, 'or at least I like to think so.'

'It's hard to believe.' Clarke admitted, in awe. 'It's like you've just been waiting in a room out of sight. Were you really there? Did I really see you after your death?'

'No,' Finn replied sadly, 'any vision you had of me was your grief. I couldn't get back to you. I was not there. I was gone from that realm. You had to come here, and you aren't the first to have done so.'

Clarke looked at Finn, bewildered.

'Think, Clarke.' He smiled.

Clarke looked at him, aghast.

'Is it one of us?'

Finn chuckled at the request for a clue but he consented to nod.

Clarke's brow furrowed for a moment before realisation dawned upon her.

'Lincoln!'

'Yeah,' Finn nodded, proudly. 'He was brought back too.'

 'Why hasn't he said anything?' Clarke asked, torn between annoyance and confusion.

'Would you? He was gone for moments and then he went back to a life he had always known. I think that's why he wanted to stay in Arkadia so badly. He was scared of what was out there. He could connect, he'd already crossed the boundary. I think he saw Arkadia as a haven from whatever was inside of him and whatever was outside of our camp.'

Clarke thought back to Lincoln's words...we've all got a monster inside of us...he'd been put through so much pain that no wonder he might have believed he was broken after seeing death.

'But he understands.' Clarke said, her eyes bright.

Finn nodded.

'But how the hell do I get through the City of Light and beat ALIE?' Clarke asked, brushing her hair back and she sounded faintly panic stricken at the prospect.

She knew now of ALIE's true power. ALIE had killed her, or almost killed her. Clarke wasn't entirely sure what had happened but she knew that ALIE wouldn't stop either. It was going to take everything to beat her.

'Trust Raven. Trust our friends.'

Clarke nodded. She turned slightly behind her to the trees as there branches gently blew against the wind. She was sure she could hear voices faintly in the air and once again she was filled with purpose.

'So you're with me now?' Clarke asked, standing up slowly.

'When haven't I been?' Finn teased, remaining where he was sat.

'Okay, I need to talk to Raven then.' Clarke muttered, more to herself.

The voices were growing louder but Finn made no acknowledgement of them. They belonged to her only. She tried to shut them out, as she looked at Finn again and he spun round in his seat, crossing his legs and looking up at her expectantly.   
  
'Is a woman called Costia here?'

Clarke rolled her eyes in annoyance at herself. She didn't even know why she asked.

'Yeah,' Finn smirked, 'but don't worry, Clarke. Lexa loves you.'

'That is not-'

'Of course not...' Finn replied smugly.

'Finn,' Clarke started in a warning voice.

'We both know you have to go.'

'I just meant-'

'Oh, I knew what you meant...'

'Finn!'

Clarke jolted gasping and there was a roar of movement as she was pulled into a tight hug. The floor was hard beneath her and her body ached all over. Blonde hair covered her as her mother sobbed over and Clarke breathed in relief when her mother let her go.

Clarke pulled herself up to a sitting position as her mother wiped tears from her eyes. Lexa's mouth was hanging open in shock and Clarke forced herself to pull her eyes away from her. Her gaze flicked to Lincoln for the briefest of seconds and there was a look of fear but understanding there. Clarke didn't turned her head to look at Raven, who was watching her from near the screen.

'I need your help.'

Raven rolled her eyes.

'I know that -  and I've got a plan.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Hopefully you'll forgive how slow I've been to update lately when I've put up two chapters in two days. Thanks for comments and kudos as ever. Hope you're all having a good weekend!


	21. Raven's Plan

'What plan?' Clarke asked, standing up and ignoring the concerned look from her mother.

'We need to go back to the source...or at least a source.' Raven said.

'What are you talking about?' Octavia asked, confused. 'You've got everything you need here.'

'No, I don't.' Raven responded, 'and I can take all of this with me, but I need direct access into the City of Light. I don't think ALIE exists externally. Murphy told us about solar panels in the Dead Zone. They can't just be for nothing.'

'Oh they weren't,' Murphy drawled, 'a little drone popped up and led us to her.'

'There wouldn't have been so many panels for one drone - even if they were its power source.' Kane reasoned.

'So we head there?' Sinclair asked. 'And hope that we find something?'

Raven gave Sinclair a look close to incredulity and raised her eyebrow.

'Really, Sinclair?' She teased. 'That's the best you can come up with?'

Sinclair looked at her, baffled.

'How likely is it that the Mountain Men were only ones who thought to make a bunker?' Raven asked.

'You think there are more?' Bellamy asked, crossing his arms and looking doubtful.

'Every time we think we learn something about life on the ground we're proved wrong. I don't think in this entire world that one bunker survived. They knew of the bomb threat and had time to build a shelter. Who's to say there aren't others?'

'It is unlikely we'd just happen to land right next to the only bunker left.' Clarke conceded.

'So you want us to find more Mountain Men?' Abby asked, sceptical.

'No, one lot was bad enough, but it might be something we need to try in the long run,' Raven answered, 'but for now we go back to basics- our Mount Weather.'

'Which a missile blew up.' Kane reminded her.

'I was there,' Raven pointed out, 'but that mountain was designed to withstand nuclear warfare. It got hit by one missile. We saw level five destroyed but we never went to check -'

'-the tunnels.' Clarke finished, adrenaline rushing through her at the realisation.

'Right.' Raven said, smirking. 'If anything survived I can tap into their systems and network and find where any power is going in the area. If there's any crossed networks I'll be able to hack into the City of Light source directly which will give me a lot more control than I currently have. Right now, I can only fiddle with the aesthetics but we need to be equal to ALIE if we're ever going to have a chance.'

'It's better than walking through the damn Dead Zone.' Murphy muttered.

'With ALIE being in Clarke's head we don't have time for that anyway.' Raven said, throwing Clarke a nervous look.

'She's not with me.' Clarke promised; it would be ridiculous to talk so openly about their plan to beat ALIE if she could listen in.

'You've closed your mind off for now,' Raven said, 'but she'll keep trying, Clarke.'

Clarke swallowed nervously but she was ready to face it. ALIE had already tried to break her and had failed badly. She would be ready to meet whatever ALIE threw at her next.  

'So when we get to the source, how do I jump in with Lexa?' Clarke asked Raven.

Clarke was beginning to feel that was the overwhelming battle. She couldn't do this without Lexa, although she hated the fact that risking giving the Flame to ALIE was the only way they could fully defeat this threat. Her feelings didn't matter though because the argument now was moot: they had no way to cross over to each other. They may have been stood next to each other but they well as well be in different galaxies. To Clarke's amazement however, Raven smiled.

'When you were out, Aden filled me in on some of the things that happened in Polis.' Raven said.

'Aden?' Lexa repeated.

'You weren't going to give me the gossip when you were worrying over Clarke and I needed everything I could get.' Raven replied. 'Trying to kill the Ice Queen, Clarke?'

Clarke stepped forward as she felt both Bellamy's and her mother's eyes burning into her.

'What does that matter?'

'We can't figure out how to make the leap across from the City of Light to the Flame. We've been looking ahead at how to bridge this huge gap but we're going nowhere.' Raven said. 'Did you get any clues when you were out?'

'No,' Clarke admitted; feeling self conscious.

She had no idea how she was going to explain Finn to them. She glanced at Lincoln who quickly looked away.

'I didn't think you would.' Raven said.  

'So what is your plan?' Bellamy asked, agitation rising.

'The simplest solution is the best and when you can't think your way forwards-'

'-then plan your way backwards.' Sinclair finished, proudly.

'What the hell does that mean?' Murphy asked, looking between the two.

'Blood.' Raven answered, smiling at Murphy. 'If they take the Grounder oath - slit their hands with a blade and then shake, their blood will merge and their portals will be brought together.'

Clarke stared at Raven, stunned. Lexa's blood had been the key to all of this. It was such a simple idea and she cursed herself for not realising it before. Yet it probably had been safer that way. ALIE had infiltrated her memories and tried to use them against her. If they had come up with this before Clarke had taken the chip then it risked handing ALIE that knowledge.  

'Why can't we do this now?' Lexa asked; impatient.

Clarke knew Lexa wanted the ALIE chip removed as soon as possible. Shame flooded through Clarke when she thought of how she must have been when ALIE was attacking her. She was weak and crying out. She never wanted her friends or her mom to see her like that, she didn't want Lexa to, especially not after everything they'd been through already.

'We don't know how it will react.' Raven answered. 'We can't have a trial run, if we do it then there's no going back and I'd rather wait until we're at the source. We're triggering a war by doing this and Lexa will be under huge threat in the Flame while ALIE tries to break Clarke's mind.'

'Clarke's going to have ALIE attacking her up until then anyway.' Octavia pointed out.

'I can handle it.' Clarke said quickly, looking determined at Raven who nodded.

'Then we have to move.' Lexa urged. 'We cannot wait here if we have to get to the Mountain. ALIE's people may already be planning another attack and she could invade Clarke's mind again at any moment.'

'We should go,' Abby agreed, surprising Clarke.

Murphy smirked at Bellamy.

'Do I get a gun again?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you all for your patience. I've had so many deadlines and I've got about a hundred exams in January (I may have exaggerated just a touch there :P) so updates have been seriously tough. I have every intention with carrying on with this and Polis however, and have thorough plans for both of them. It is just taking me a bit longer to get everything done. 
> 
> The crossover Mass Effect 100 fic will be slightly longer to update too (but the chapters are longer and there's two authors on it so we need to agree :P).
> 
> Thank you all for kudos and comments as ever. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas :)


	22. The Duty to Your People

Lexa strode along the Skaikru corridors, with Titus struggling to keep up in her wake. People jumped into the walls as they saw her, quick to let her pass but Titus was looked at by the passers-by with a mixture of fear and contempt. However, Lexa did not miss the two she passed by  who nodded to her and then to Titus.

He would judged as a traitor for going against her wishes which almost resulted in disaster. One of those bullets could have easily hit her and left the Commander dead early by the hand of one of her own people. Skaikru were still viewed as outsiders, even with Pike’s fall. This new threat had united both Grounder and Sky People again but Lexa knew that for many it would be an uneasy alliance after the massacre. Clarke had won admiration for being willing to offer herself as a sacrifice, and in her attempts to bring about peace for the Grounders, but the rest of the people from the Sky were still viewed with mistrust. Titus then would likely be forgiven by many, and the lingering resentment about Skaikru would likely risk burning bright again. Lexa knew she would have to tackle it at some point, but she hoped the truce could hold out long enough to beat ALIE.

Lexa stepped inside one of the smallest side rooms and she watched as the guard closed the door behind Titus, leaving mentor and former student alone. Lexa’s gaze hardened as she looked upon him. He was weary from everything, his eyes were red and his face gaunt. Lexa had never seen him like this and she felt as though she was almost intruding upon some intimate moment for him. He had always been strong as her teacher. As he taught the lessons to the Nightbloods about avoiding and shunning weakness, he had always sought to appear the epitome of control. She had been too young and had held too much admiration for him to ever see his anger and rash choices as anything other than his confidence with control. She missed that innocence. Now, all she could see was Clarke falling and hear the loud snap of the gun as he pulled the trigger.

‘You are to remain here,’ Lexa said eventually, trying to adopt her usual Commander tone but her voice cracked ever so slightly.

Titus looked at her, shocked.

‘Heda,’ he croaked, ‘where will you be going?’

Lexa bit her tongue for a second, fighting an inner conflict. He would follow her to hell, and she still believed that but if he was caught within his duty then Lexa had to protect her people and especially, Clarke.

‘That is not your concern now.’ Lexa replied, stoic and Titus visibly flinched. ‘You will still, however, perform your duty to me.’

‘My duty is to the Flame,’ Titus said weakly and Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously.

‘I am the Flame,’ Lexa hissed.

‘Not yet, Heda.’ Titus replied. ‘You are its carrier. I follow the Flame.’

Lexa barely contained her exasperated sigh. His bargaining could not work. She lived by the Flame, and Raven would know enough about it. They needed more than legends now but she did the devotion of Titus to serve.

‘You will be protecting the Flame by remaining within Arkadia,’ Lexa commanded, ‘the control of ALIE is the greatest threat our people face and her only goal is to capture the Flame.’

‘Then I must stay with you, Heda!’ Titus shouted, his voice booming despite his exhaustion. ‘You cannot put your life in the hands of these-‘

Lexa held up her hand for silence and Titus clamped his mouth shut. Lexa may have found it mildly comical if she wasn’t so worn from this same old battle. She had heard it from every one of her advisors and ambassadors, not to mention from Titus himself at least a dozen times before.

‘ALIE has no idea of our plans. She believes we are gathering strength behind these walls to defend ourselves. She thinks we are trapped and it will serve us to let her think that.’ Lexa explained. ‘You give that to her.’

‘If I’m here…’

‘Then she’ll assume that I am too,’ Lexa nodded.

‘And you will have already gone?’

Lexa nodded.

‘Titus, I know what I ask you and my people-‘

‘We will serve you, Heda.’ Titus said, taking Lexa aback as he sank to his knees. ‘If this will truly protect you, if ALIE is to come here then I will do what I must and I will do it gladly.’

Lexa flicked her eyes away briefly, swallowing the tight knot in her throat as she felt her eyes burn. When she looked back at him, it was to see a single tear rolling down his cragged face.

‘I will serve you Heda,’ Titus repeated, ‘and I’m sorry. I only thought-‘

‘I know what you thought, teacher,’ Lexa interjected softly, ‘but you were wrong; love is strength.’  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you so much for your patience. I've had such a busy month with exams, different projects and my health being a bit all over the place. I really appreciate those of you who have stuck with the story :) 
> 
> So...I know The 100 has been aired in some parts of the world and I've been asked if this will change things? Nope, because I've already got the plan for this fic and I've not actually watched the episode. If, however, people would like a separate fic about how I could work Lexa into S4 through the Flame and bring her back then that's something I'll be open to. As I say, I've not watched but if people wanted a specific story then (if I have time) I'll happily explore requests. 
> 
> Also, future of this fic. Yes, Emori will be mentioned and feature - I've not forgotten her! Also *Bellamy voice* war is coming.


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